On The Streets - Part 1

Mid-Glamorgan Express 19th August 2002

In a new, revolutionary hard-hitting series, I will be reporting from
the front-lines of Britain's elite units. I WILL be risking possible
physical danger as I put my nose to the grindstone to give you the
lowdown on public services in the 21st century. This week, in a
two-part double header, I hit the streets with the crack Mid-Glamorgan
Police Force Tactical Interception Service, known universally as
MGPFTIS, or the Police Interception Service for short. The PIS is a
serious crime unit which was formed along the same lines as the SAS to
combat the growing number of public disorder incidents in this part of
Wales. Offences such as loitering and especially littering, are
becoming a major hazard in the minds of the public. The problem has
become so serious that it has come to the forming of the PIS to try and
contain the situation. The dedication of this two man team is
second-to-none. They think nothing of waking up at the crack of dawn
EVERY DAY in a bid to clean up the mean streets of Mid-Glamorgan.
Their's is a thankless task; the only reward is knowing that the
streets may one day be a safer place.

All to soon, the day had arrived for me to take the PIS challange.
Would I be able to cut the mustard? Would I be able to stare danger in
the face with a willing smile? Had I chosen the wrong career? All these
questions and more swam through my mind like lost fish, as with some
trepidation, I readied myself for the trials ahead. Having been woken
at the ungodly hour of 7:00am, I made my way to the station to meet the
PIS. I found them in the canteen, enjoying a well deserved cup of tea
and a danish before the day ahead. I had heard many stories about these
officers; and their exploits had rightly become legendary around the
police stations of Wales, but words alone had failed to convey their
imposing presense as they sat in front of me. Both of them stood well
over 5'8, and each of them had a bushy moustache that lent a dignified
air to their apperance. I introduced myself, and was soon engrossed in
conversation with Keith 'Bubble' Owen and Roger 'Squeak' Miles...

"Oh yes, in this kind of job you have to be on your toes at all times,
you just never know what's around the next corner."

said Roger, sipping his tea like a gentleman. Keith heartily
agreeded.

"In this job you just can't sit still for a second. More tea?"

But there was no time. Just then the chief's voice came over the
intercom. Like the highly trained men they were, Keith and Roger
hurriedly finished their tea and cakes before rushing off to the
briefing room...

Don't miss Part 2 next week, when I get down and dirty with PIS!