No' A pome so much as a le''er

She trod on a guerrilla
an stopped him carreen on like sum kineduv Godzilla.
When she revealed 'er luv (ov cream that's clo''id),
he werz toe'erlee 'n' u''erly beso''id.
She 'eld 'er notebook near 'er chest,
'n' ee longed and wished to be so pressed.
Wiv 'er, I wanna be uni'id.
Not Man U, mine you.
Nah, it's jerst I don'' wan' no more to be so lost, bereft, and u''erly and toe'erly benigh'id.
'Alf 'n' 'undred yers of sollytood,
'n' nare a drop to drink ... well, kinderv ... .
It erll always be fun just luvin 'er
'n' figh'in' over ooz the guvener,
but, really, I muss confess,
and will say no less,
that in my 'eart and in my ar',
the won I luv
will always be my guv.