All This
By chelseyflood
Mon, 16 Nov 2009
- 2017 reads
6 comments
I remember walking through
that field near Hellesdon
where you realised
you liked the countryside.
I plucked the biggest carrot
either of us had ever seen,
skipped with it in my hand
swinging it from leaves
like a child with a doll.
You said: “I thought I didn’t like all this,”
And your eyes on mine
made me feel included
with the soil, the low sunshine,
the universe outside.
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Comments
Really like this piece
Permalink Submitted by lenchenelf on
Really like this piece :-)atb Lena
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Pure magic. Tina
Permalink Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Pure magic.
Tina
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A more than well-deserved
Permalink Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
A more than well-deserved cherry;-)
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new Chelseyflood thoroughly
Permalink Submitted by Cavalcader on
new Chelseyflood
thoroughly enjoyed.
congrats; well earn't cherry too
julie x cavalcader (:-
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This is lush. I feel like I
This is lush. I feel like I have been on that walk.
The word 'plucked' in this poem makes me nervous
maybe dug up, or something better than dug up.
Also wondered about line breaks,
There is a shift in the poem,
so maybe it could open out in the last lines
And your eyes on mine made me feel included
with the soil, the low sunshine,the universe outside.
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