The monster turkey
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By Terrence Oblong
Thu, 23 Dec 2010
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6 comments
It was the biggest turkey ever, 84 lbs the shopkeeper said. Dirk’s girlfriend teased him, saying “You’re only 81 lbs yourself, he must have meant ounces.”
But the shopkeeper was right, when the delivery arrived the turkey was nearly as tall as Dirk, and broader. It was also still alive, not dead, plucked and certainly not ready to stuff. It leapt out of its box in furious mood, hungry for Christmas dinner.
Dirk was no match for it. The turkey plucked him, slung him in the oven and cooked him on Gas Mark 5 for 13 and a half hours.
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Comments
brilliant! Made me laugh -
Permalink Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on
brilliant! Made me laugh - thank you for posting it
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A welcome antidote to
A welcome antidote to everything else Christmassy at the moment. A lesson to us all.
Rob
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I've only just caught up
I've only just caught up with this and as a bah humbug sort of of person (and a vegetarian to boot) it really raised a chortle. Nice one!
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Cameo this late via Twitter,
Permalink Submitted by lwilkinson on
Cameo this late via Twitter, but it made me laugh out loud. The bird's revenge.
LauraW
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