Off-beat

Cherry

By Highhat

Sun, 28 Aug 2011
  • 1823 reads
31 comments
 

Turning 180 degrees
only reveals
yet another mirror
empty
I am not moved
pent-up emotions
call for eloquent
articulation
touching imperfection and
discontent
immovable
by bio-degradable truths
Cheers to unfathomable profundity
woven solitude
when the screen fades
we are all losers
words are blown to the wind
as torment on the face of the cliff
is being washed by salty tears
Future’s countenance
is present in the mirror
I am moved
more than once
spinning 360 degrees
staying where I am
once and for all
my traditions
shared off-beat

Certificate U
Poem
Autobiography

Comments

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
I like this, Pia...a certain 'quirkiness' about it and yet, such depth. Tina;-)

 

Submitted by Highhat on
It comes from having a lot on my mind I think Tina Thank you for reading ;)Pia

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on
Dear Pia, this is so descriptive and even though it's through you having a lot on your mind, it brings out the best in your writing. I think Tina's right, it does have a lot of depth. Jenny.

 

Submitted by Highhat on
I appreciate your comment Jenny-it is so kind of you to read and tell me your thoughts ;)Pia

Submitted by maggyvaneijk on
I thought this was really interesting, like your imagery you can spin this poem around and look at it from various angles. Very clever!

 

Submitted by seashore on
Very enigmatic and as maggy says also very clever. Your poetry is so interesting - you never know what you're going to get and I really like that quality, Pia. Coral x

Submitted by Highhat on
Thank you very much for your comment Maggy- I just had so much on my mind and this is what came of it- glad you enjoyed. I really tried hard to get it all down- there's still some left up there. Ha ha ;)Pia

Submitted by Highhat on
Coral thank you for your words. Glad you enjoyed. ;)Pia

Submitted by Highhat on
I am very glad for my cherry thank you. Beats loganberries anytime !!

Submitted by fatboy74 on
Well done Pia, 'cheers to unfathomable profundity' I'll second that. :-)

 

Submitted by Highhat on
;) Thanks FB- glad you agree... ;)Pia

Submitted by prettyrose on
Another great one Pia :) well done and on Cherries :) Keep writing Keep Smiling :)

smiley Keep Smiling

Keep Writing xxx

Submitted by Overthetop1 on
This is really, really good. The imagery is just excellent and it seems to have so many layers. As an afterthought, have you heard the lyrics to Amy Winehouse's `I Wake up Alone'? This poem made me think of that too. `So sick of crying, so just lately when I catch myself, I do a 180. A very well deserved cherry.

Overthetop1

Submitted by Highhat on
Thanks a lot Prettyrose ;)Pia

Submitted by Highhat on
Hi OTT- I think I have heard most of Amy's music but am not good at remembering lyrics- but I'm really glad you thought of me and her at the same time. Thank you very much for reading and for your comment... ;)Pia

Submitted by barryj1 on
Nice!

barryj1

Submitted by Highhat on
Thanks Barry ;)Pia

Submitted by HiddenBehindTheMask on
A really interesting read! I think you're a born poet!

Submitted by Highhat on
Thank you very much Hidden BtM ;)Pia

Submitted by Steve on
Very nice. You must eat good rice.

 

Submitted by Highhat on
I do- thanks.. ;)Pia

Submitted by msiagirl on
Ethereal thoughts! A quality of "just trying to grasp out of the corner of the eye". Nice imagery of the mirror and its hints of infinity. :))

Submitted by Highhat on
Thanks Mgirl. I also enjoyed your first poem on here.. ;)Pia

Submitted by L G Meadows on
I really liked the tone of this poem and particularly the phrase 'Future’s countenance is present in the mirror'. I can think of so many things that could mean.

 

Submitted by Highhat on
Thanks for reading LG Meadows.. ;)Pia

Submitted by MaggieG on
Yes... very ethereal. Almost Gothic in nature :) Much enjoyed reading this

Submitted by Highhat on
I like that Maggie- Gothic, eh? well almost.. thank you very much for that comment.. ;)Pia

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Really love the short-line structure to this, Pia. It flows really well - would be a good spoken word poem, I think! Magic xxx

 

Submitted by Highhat on
Thanks Magic- nice comment which I greatly appreciate.. ;)Pia

Submitted by sarahprowls on
I love the flow of your description - i shall read more in here! x Sarah

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