Bail Hostel Blues

Bail Hostel Blues

Florrie and Jack are mother and son and like to crack on most days of the week. Today it's bad news about Florrie's nephew Trevor.

Florrie : You'll never guess what I've heard, Jack.

Jack: What, Mum?

F: That your cousin Trevor is now in a bail hostel.

J: Trevor in a bail hostel.

F: Yes, Jack. I'm disgusted. What is this country coming to, that my nephew Trevor has ended up in a bail hostel? He's a good class graduate from Wolverhampton, Jack. Do you know he turned down a place at Oxbridge.

J: Yes, Mum, you are always going on about that.

F: The specialist at Wolverhampton was the best in his field. And now Trevor knows all there is to know about electronic music. Anyway this incarceration, Jack, this is what concerns us now, we must get him out.

J : Why is he in there?

F: I have no idea, Jack. I'm getting on to the man who runs the place. Apparently it's no more than a holiday camp for delinquents, and your cousin, Jack, a first class graduate. If anything it's probably drugs. All these student types take drugs. He'll have been high on maharajah.

J: You mean, well I know what you mean, but I doubt it.

F: Well I don't, Jack, that boy is innocent until proven guilty. He is first class.

J : Oh, Mum, you are always going on about Trevor being first class.

F: Well, let's face it, Jack, you left Halifax tech with next to nothing.

J: I got a building certificate, level 3.

F: Oh, Jack, what are you going to do with that? You know your heart is in shops.

J: Well, it is now, Mum. I want to sell clothes.

F: You've always been trendy, Jack. But enough of our troubles I want your cousin out of that bail hostel, quick pronto.

J: I know what you mean, Mum, it'll ruin his chances with the BBC.

F: Oh, those snobs, Jack. Nobody has a chance with them anyway. They are that cliquey, Jack, and they all know each other. Even though Trevor is a genius, Jack, he stands no chance with those also rans. They look down on real talent, because their own children don't have any. They are only jealous.

J: Too true, Mum. It is typical of this country to put Trevor in a bail hostel. It's getting like Russia. No one will be safe soon, Mum. Trevor is discredited now. He'll never get anywhere socially. It's this country's way of kneecapping him. They are no more than criminals. This government is criminal.

F: Don't tell me, Jack, I know. This society is corrupt. The looks I get in Boots. I don't know who those girls think they are, I think they've got a screw loose.

J: I know, I've never liked those girls in Boots. They say foreign countries feel like us, Mum. They can see through them too.

F: It's terrible, Jack. Half of them think they are middle class and they're delivering pizzas or answering telephones in those damn call centres.

J: It's ridiculous, Mum.

F: Well, Jack, it's the north. It's as good as backward. You go down south, it's different again. But to get back to Trevor we must form a plan.

J: What's Aunt Cilla saying about him?

F:Well, Jack, she reckons it's drugs, but whatever it is, it is an assassination by the government.

J: Why would they do that, Mum?

F: I've no idea, Jack. Your grandfather fought in two world wars for this.

J: I'm shocked, Mum. To think we've ended up victims of a corrupt society.

F: I don't like any of it, Jack. We could all end up criminalized - persecutes of an evil society.

J: Oh, Mum, God have mercy on them.

F: My heart bleeds Jack. My heart goes out to the pathetic persecutes in this town.

J: Oh, Mum, I think we should leave Britain.

F: Maybe it's too late.

J: No, but if these charges are trumped up maybe it is.

F: Oh Jack, you don't think they've accused Trevor of murder, do you?

J: Living here is murder, Mum. We need to know the facts from the bail hostel. Do you think I should pay a visit?

F: Oh no, Jack. One sniff of you and they'll have you in there too, Jack. Best steer clear of such a vile place.

J: They say it's very nice, Mum, every mod con.

F: Well, your cousin Trevor is no mod con. He's an intellectual, Jack. I still can't believe they'd incarcerate someone who turned down Oxbridge. I'll get on the phone, Jack, speak to someone in charge.

J: Our political ideals, Mum, have always been different.

F: Yes, Jack, we've loved the poor and the unfortunate. These bastards have only thought of themselves, and now Trevor, the first casualty to be swept into the vortex of political hatred.

J: Oh, Mum, to think we can smile no more in this evil place.

F: Too true, Jack, for to smile would bring us all the troubles of hell.

End of part 1 of 10.