The Discount Bruces
By sean mcnulty
I found myself in a tight spot earlier and could have done with the use of a Bruce.
A Bruce is a useful thing to have around when in danger.
Five burly men had surrounded me. They’d already taken my purse and spilled its contents on the ground. They were laughing and looking at me in a rather unrefined manner. I pictured the worst of all possible worlds in all possible pictures.
After sending word of my predicament, I was informed via Instant Thought Messaging that the most useful Bruce was no longer available. He had passed away in the early seventies. I was saddened to learn of this, but offered hope in a list of other Bruces that may have been able to help me out.
(A very thin but stylish in yellow and black Bruce)
(A sophisticated but cockier even than the real Bruce Bruce)
(The most shamelessly bruced-up Bruce)
Knowing that these discount Bruces were somewhat affordable and experiencing great desperation in the moment, I opted to purchase all three for their uses.
The discount Bruces despatched with my attackers in a less visually pleasing way than the most useful Bruce would have done, and time-wise, they were also not as efficient. However I was satisfied with the work and delighted I’d been freed from this bristly situation.
I thanked the discount Bruces individually and prayed for the survival of the industry.