Through the Looking Glass

“Wot you lookin’ at? I shouted. The cunt was givin’ it. He kept staring, not saying anyfin, just staring at me. So I kicked him, yeah maybe too many times but he deserved it, you get me? Then I bombed it and got the fuck out of the underpass before one of you pig cunts clocked me. I came out of the uva end of the Cambridge Roundabout and caught the bus into Tott’nam.

            Wot numba is it? Ah, shit. Anyways, so I’m on sittin’ on this bus like, minding me own, when this fat skin ‘ead comes sit with me. He askin’ me all these questions about wot was goin’ on last night with some kid gettin’ shot. The dude just got out the pen. He had this bomber jacket, red chequered shirt like me old man’s and a pair of DMs. He still fought it was the fuckin’ nineties or somein. Not gonna lie tho, I was brickin’ it and it was proper gettin’ dark.

So we get off the bus, I go left towards the party and he goes right. But he stopped and starts following me like. He seemed aight y’know? Not too bad for an old fella. Anyhow, he sets me a fag and I tell him where I’m going. He said some line from the Bible and comes with. To be fair, the guy seemed like he had nowhere to go. But we get there and everyone’s started.

            I’ve never seen as many fed as that.

I turn to the bald fuck and he’s eggin’ me on, so we run through the crowd and at the filth. He drop kicks this guy’s shield and knocks him the fuck out with it. Two of youse with bats and a dog came at me, I pull my shank and tell them to back the fuck off. I kicked the dog in the ‘ead. About four lads dragged me with em to Tasco’s, I chucked a bin through the door. I look back yeah and baldy’s pulled a piece and he’s comin’ in after us.

            That’s when it happened.

This pig took his knees out with this bat and started beating the shit out of him. I pushed the guy off ‘im. It was an unfair fight. And baldy shot him. He got caught in the neck. He was spraying blood mate, I didn’t know what to fucking do.  What was I supposed to do?

            We get in there raid it, grabbed myself a few PS3s and Annuvahood but uva than that, the place was empty, the other kids had done the place. I looks over the checkouts, the uva lads are gettin’ proper fucked so I tell baldy to go.

            But he just stood there in the corner.

I was shoutin’ at him to come with but he kept staring, not saying anyfin, just staring at me. And that’s when you lot got me."

Through the looking glass.

“Sarge, do you want me to book him?”

“What? With theft, property damage, ABH, assaulting a police officer, possession of a Category M weapon, an unlicensed firearm and the murder of a Detective sergeant. No. This one needs to be looked at by a doctor.”

“Sarge?”

“Mills, I apprehended the suspect personally. There was only a disillusioned, coked up youth screaming at his reflection to run. No middle aged “skinhead” was ever present at the scene.”