The Birth of Claustrophobia
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By Bee
- 5964 reads
Woke up this morning
feeling trapped and apprehensive,
in unnecessary panic, even though
I didn't know it at the time.
Heard this woman screaming;
sounded meaningless to me
in a garbled sort of way,
then it all went quiet -
Only for a minute, though, suddenly
all hell let loose -
I struggled to escape a vice-like grip,
while the racket of the shouting
that had started in the distance,
just as quickly died, and I felt sick.
My heart beat faster; heard it
drumming, and I'd never known
such pressure - had this inkling
that I'd perish any minute.
It was airless where I hid.
Think I had dropped off, but then
got rudely woken
by a watery explosion,
then someone went and grabbed me;
started yanking, squeezing something
metal round my head.
Shocked, I yelled, but no one
seemed to know this,
and if they did, they took no notice -
just slapped me, bound me tightly
with some cloth
and threw me at this woman
who was sweating,
dripping wet and red.
The air smelt chemical and hostile
and I must have been in hospital,
even though
I didn't know it at the time.
And though she didn't know me,
the woman tried to choke me;
watched me gagging
on enormous hunks of flesh,
which she stuffed with some persistence
despite valiant resistance,
into my protesting mouth.
There was nothing left for me to do
but swallow, and I did, as though
my life depended on it -
in this, the hairy story of my birth.
It was bad, no use pretending,
but would have a happy ending -
even though I didn't know it at the time.
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Comments
A "hairy story" of getting in
A "hairy story" of getting in this life, birth and first breastfeeding. Interesting relation with claustrophobia. So well done, Bee!
Good luck for competition!
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Oh Rhiannon, that was really
Oh Rhiannon, that was really a plastic observation Gave me a good laugh.
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Hi Bee
Hi Bee
I loved reading this. Poor baby had such a hard time pushing against the wall for all those hours. Only to have to face a mass of flesh suffocating her.
Jean
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If only we could remember
what our birth was like. If we could, I reckon we'd say you nailed it with this poem!
Good luck in the comp. (I'm thinking of putting something in myself if I can finish it in time, but it won't be a poem)
Cheers
Ed K
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the ultimate outsider story,
the ultimate outsider story, when kids say I didn't ask to be born they'll refer to this.
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Loved the poem
Loved the poem, I think you captured the experience really well.
i thought the poem flowed well, and I liked how it wasnt obvious to start with as to the subject, although the picture did, for me, ruin the surprise of realising it.
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Bee, I love this, really fun
Bee, I love this, really fun to read, beautifully written, great pace and a wonderful sense of fun about it dedspite the first waking being pretty terrifying! Brillant. R xx
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Nicely suspenseful Bee, like
Nicely suspenseful Bee, like the new person, I only had an inkling by the end.
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I was discussing this with a
I was discussing this with a lactation consultant the other day. Deep latch they say. Baby says No No No. Baby says gag gag gag. A very imaginative perspective on world entry and sustenance told with a comic voice. Best of luck, Bee.
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A great fun poem with a great
A great fun poem with a great theme. Brilliant take on the theme.
Linda
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