Captain Chaos and The Boy Blunder aka 'The Smithereens'.

You'll both be in a band one day called ‘The Smithereens’
 

and tour the world, smashing hotel rooms.

Just as soon as you stop licking your brother's wee.

 
You are both me but better me.
 
Or you soon will be when you can see

the lack of similarity between a hat and potty.

The crowds will react to your every whim.

But right now I can't hear you, there’s chair in your mouth

and your brother’s sucking the bin.
 

Have you done a poo? I suppose that won’t change.
 
No boys, we don't put toothpaste on toast
 
nor fill our noses with marmalade.

You’ll sign breasts one day I’m sure of that.

But right now I’d settle for less of your scrawl on the toilet seat

you still think is a hat.

 
Don't hit your brother with that...

This won’t change. Or that. Good morning train tracks how are you?
 
‘I'm feeling a bit flat.’

Is this some rebellious streak to show the rest?

The dinosaur in the washing up. The chips in the sofa.
 
Or is it because there's Lego in your vest?

I hope I live to see you both perform time and again

Not through some fear for health or mental decline.

But because I fear you may have broken me by then.