Montage of my sons. IP
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By london_calling79
- 3599 reads
Quicksilver hands as sharp as eyes.
Your Trojan smiles flinty edged, your jawlines merge
with the fizz and pop of consonant and vowel.
American and Anglicised.
Whetted tremulous fears edge
the flat out landscape of your potential.
You’re a shimmer haze off the asphalt
firing around the curvature of the earth.
Ears lassoed with honeyed strands
the eyes meet in the middle.
He claps above a birthday cake
as you draw notes on shards of paper.
You stumble with six biting strings;
he pounds away on plastic frets.
You crack a chord, both turn to me
his words resound from out your mouths.
Ice-lolly milk breath scatters dandelion clocks
A toddler chases dollar bills
You sit mesmerised by flickering phones
and I forget who I’m talking to.
You’re like trying to hold on to a fireball;
chain a lightning bolt.
As your seat on a lunch box drumkit
strikes the feared chord of God in me.
I see in him through
voyeur Frances snapshots
Polaroids of our future;
you both prostrate on the blacktop,
me mired in the tarmac.
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Comments
Electrified with life.
Electrified with life. Writing for sound - hard to do, but achieved here - with a ton of love thrown in.
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works really well. Only thing
works really well. Only thing that threw me a bit was 'eyes meet in the middle' had me thinking - Cyclops for a son?
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Lovely images, the masculine
Lovely images, the masculine adolescent and strumming toddler.
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Thank you for this. The
Thank you for this. The image of the two boys is beautiful. My lad also plays the guitar and I could identify with so much - including the bit about the damn phones! I've come back to it for a number of re-reads and enjoyed it more each time.
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Really effective imagery
Really effective imagery achieved especially in stanza five - ice-lolly milk breath scatters dandelion clocks...toddler chasing dollar bills...flickering phones..
I've seen something new in it every time I've read it- brilliant!
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