Leggings - a Shopping tale
Sun, 09 Oct 2016
When I'd finished piling through the adverts in the 'friend' last week, I decided to go down to HB to pick up a British Legion Poppy bird feeder. The store was quite busy when I went inside, and wandered around the House Plant section.
I could hear the staff upstairs enjoying a party. Cups were clinking! Voices were raised. A few staff slowly worked the displays downstairs... One was even demonstrating a product... Where was the cafe? I was pooped! Such a big shop!
I moved around, towards the Garden Centre bit, which went on outside... No sign of large Poppies were visible. Eventually I came back inside, found the bird feeders all neatly displayed, some hanging by a thread... still no sign of the Poppies... such disappointment! Also no tables to sit at, and no tea kiosk with friendly gardening lady giving advice on planting!
I then wandered back up to the middle of the store where I met head on, with the one fully working member of the staff team. He looked like Mr. Tummus from the Narnia books... hurried and worried.
From near the tills at the front entrance another old woman started shrieking.
I glanced at her, interested. She looked like Mrs. Doubtfire! Same cardi and skirt. After shrieking, she turned to the till staff for affirmation.
I turned away. I didn't want to be seen looking!
I said to Mr. Tummus, "Have you any of the British Legion Poppy bird feeders in stock yet?"
"No," he said thinking hard about how to remember whatever it was he was dealing with before he'd been accosted by some strange old woman. "I don't think so!"
"Okay," I said sadly, amused at his predictument, "I'll come back in a few weeks, will they be in by then?"
"Possibly," he said unsure that such an event would ever take place...
The old woman started to shriek again. Something had happened. For some reason - the brite advert about the monkey was whirling in my brain. Some cruel person had stolen her banana!
She turned head on to the staff, "It's not my fault," she shrieked, "You understand don't you!"
"It'll be alright on the night," One of them said encouragingly. "We'll use the wheelbarrow, and do the dance dressed as elves. Should go well at Christmas. The Kin brothers will be dressing up as well!"
"Coo!" She said, shaking her grey/white wig, "I like them!"
I thought about them, no, the triplet gargoyles weren't very nice! They were all concertinaed up under their clothing. They did try it on! Always clean shirts and filthy comments!
The old lady glared at me, obviously suspecting me of stealing her banana. I wondered if they had a suggestion box somewhere... perhaps they should have a box of comfort blankies, banana's and little bags of Reindeer poo for such visitors..
I passed by the choreographic staff and their helpful old lady, and moved across the road, and as luck would have it, passed two of the triplets - who shook out comments - mucky - nasty - yucky. It was nearly a disaister. I had it on the tip of my tongue. Get back to your buildings! I think possibly Erk and Orc? Missing the Ked! All three are pretty much identical... I think!
I held my tongue. I knew that some of our Dereham residents aren't human!
I slipped into Age UK and ended up with a Tortoise... a low light. A delight!