And I am telling you now
By Ray Schaufeld
- 3658 reads
A meeting in a cafe and some e-mail was all
Yet for me it feels
Like we are a girl and a boy
In a slightly parallel universe
Staring in to the open fire
Drawing our own shapes and patterns
It could be dawn (of day or time)
It could be eve with new dawn yet to follow
And holding round this renewal
I now need to draw a circle
And shift myself forward
In ways that seek the sun.
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Comments
A big warm welcome to the
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I enjoyed this, too. It's got
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Like we are a girl and a boy
Like we are a girl and a boy
In a slightly parallel universe
Staring in to the open fire
Drawing our own shapes and pattern
beautifully put.
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I too really like this and I
I too really like this and I find your style original too. Well done.
Moya
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Hi Elsie
Hi Elsie
This is a lovely poem - short and simple, yet full of emotion. I really like it.
Jean
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I was glad I came across this
I was glad I came across this as it is probably a good lesson in terms of stripping things back and keeping it simple and conveying everything you need to convey just absolutely right and then some...words and arrangements of words, each word is so important here as they should be and there are so many combinations to treasure...holding round this renewal/drawing our own shapes- (Its really effective that this line is suddenly rhythmic and fluid and feels important after the fragmented images& thoughts of the opening 5)... actually the title itself is wonderful and intriguing in its clipped definitive thought way, it drew me to the poem. Lots to take from this :-)
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