Warra warra What-what
By Tom Brown
Mon, 24 Feb 2014
- 810 reads
1 comments
The most lamentable tragedy of a dude and a lighty.
x
Main Manne What Counts : Dude (Hell-driver); Lighty (Giggles)
Speedcops : Koos (Van der Merwe); Chief (Madoda)
Driver : Hot Fox (Quick & Cunning)
Bystanders:
Flat Battery (Muttonhead); Rasta (Connection);
Mampara (Nincompoop); Moses (Bra)
Chicks : Candy (Lovebird); Honeybee (Cherry); Goose (Larney)
Commentators : Stompie (Spanner); Snotkop (Goofy)
Choir : The Weepers (Grave diggers)
x x
Moses: do-gho do-gho do-gho do-gho do-gho do-gho
Snotkop: Mustang black and yellow 5.7 litre Ford V8
Stompie: Bad news
Snotkop: Zephyr Silver-Flash
Candy: Wow!
Moses: Sharp-sharp
=
Lighty: Double fortified West Coast brandy. Guaranteed six fights to the bottle
Dude: Tune you china jacked-up check what sweet and safe. Weed?
Lighty: Score zol genuine poison reckon lights-out
Dude: Scramble double-clutch buddy
Lighty: Tune heavy dude
Dude: Chill
Lighty: Reckon what-what bra?
Dude: Solid stuff down-downs bra tappet
Lighty: Moonlight scheme grab a doo heavy?
Dude: Tune what-what tsjom sweet'n safe!
=
Hot Fox: Gun gun Gun Gun! Foot flat floor full throttle! Drop clutch!!
Stompie: Tackies screaming smoking rubber! Down main road like the devil!
Candy: Hey Mickey Hey Mickey you're so fine you blow my mind! Hey Mickey!
Goose: Hot-stuff
Stompie: Down the hill black dark of night a bat out of hell!
Hot Fox: Born to be Wild
=
Flat Battery: Full-on!
Rasta: Sho-sho
Moses: Fosho
Flat battery: Cool
=
Snotkop: Mustang picking up momentum … clock 230 k's
Stompie: Like mad. Dip!
Snotkop: Hot Fox Zephyr gone! Vanished!
Stompie: Unreal. What is like wits man. Lights-off?
Snotkop: What? Chief 'nd Koos hide 'round the bend
Snotkop: Dozing off- lines in the water
Stompie: StriKe!!
=
Snotkop: Clocking 245 k's
=
Dude : Bastard's got balls
Lighty: Acute emergency situation! Full red alert!!
Dude: What situation?
Lighty: Blah-blah
Dude: Bitch-and-moan
Lighty: Babble babble
Dude: Laaitie
Lighty: Wimp
Dude: Watch it tsjom
=
Snotkop: The 850cc engines kick in. Bikes A for away!
Stompie: Blue lights turning flash-flashing weeu-weeu weeuweeuweeu
Snotkop: Go Koos go! Pop a weely!
Stompie: Check!
Snotkop: Unreal. Scooter down!
Stompie: Flat skid sliding tar road scratch steel all what of sparks
Snotkop: Eina!
Stompie: Watch speedcop prang one-shot into the bushes
Snotkop: Bummer
=
Goose: Aikona
Candy: Tickets
=
Snotkop: Chief in hot pursuit
Stompie: The big V8 roaring like no tomorrow
Stompie: Approaching Blind Man's bend at a terrific speed
Snotkop: Heavy solid stuff. Unreal
Stompie: Skidding out of control. Off the road. She's gonna roll!
Snotkop: Watch!
Stompie: Doom's day
Stompie: Ford flying cartwheels twisting 'nd rolling mid-air
Snotkop: Crash and blazing up in smoke 'nd flames. Fatal, both counts
Stompie: For real. Utterly destroyed
=
Rasta: aWA!
Flat Battery: Eina-ah!
Mampara: Eish!
=
Honeybee: (The fat lady sings!)
Snotkop: What a way to go
Stompie: Level-with-the-grevel
Snotkop: To kingdom come
=
Hope you have a good appetite. Eat drink be merry!
The Weepers:
Our Sergeant Major jumped from seventy-thousand feet
Our Sergeant Major jumped from seventy-thousand feet
Our Sergeant Major jumped from seventy-thousand feet
He ain't gonna jump no more!
They scraped him off the tarmac like a piece of strawberry jam
And he ain't gonna jump no more!
Glory Glory, what a hell of a way to die
Glory Glory what a hell-of-a-way to die!
Glory Glory what a hell-of-a-way to die!
And he ain't gonna jump no more!
x x
sharp – yes
sho – Ok
fosho – for sure
bra, broo – (my) brother
stompie – friend (litt. cigarette butt)
spanner, tappet – back-yard mechanic
snotkop – wet-behind-the-ears (litt. runny nose)
tsjom, china – buddy
doo – female dude
larney – grand
tickets – (it's) over
zol – marijuana
reckon – think (if)
scheme – think (so)
tune – telling (you)
score – win (for free)
Aikona – No ways
Awa! – Never!
Eish! Eina! – Ouch!
x
Note: The dialogue is typical of South-African slang and much of the language used is unique to this country. The story and all characters are purely fictional and not based on real people nor events. There are no taboo or swear words.
If any persons do feel offended, or groups of people, then please let me know immediately and I will see to the problem with urgency.
Faithfully yours
Tom Brown
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