By Jane Hyphen
‘Good luck Nigel. You won’t need it mind, you’re a bright lad. Go and show em what you’re made of.’
Nigel Wheeler took his seat next to George Wheelwright, one of his schoolmates. George winked at him and the man at the front made a hushing sound.
‘Please turn over the page and you may begin in five, four, three, two, one….’ He said watching his watch.
Albert Pomeroy is given half a crown for his birthday and asked to share it with his left-handed twin brother Ned. Ned has thruppence ha’penny left over from cleaning out Mr Brownring’s ferrets; Ned is three minutes older than Albert. On Saturday afternoon they go to a football match, the tickets are four pence each and they buy ice creams on the way for a farthing.
At the match Albert has a nosebleed and loses a tanner from his pocket as he reaches for his hankie. The match is a draw and it rains on the way home. They must buy Bovril for tea from the local shop for two pence a pack but their mother Maud works there so they get a ten percent discount from Mr Cramford. They also buy some tripe for their whippet Kumquat, who eats a twentieth of its body weight each day and weighs twenty nine pounds during the racing season. The tripe costs three farthings per pound but the last race was on Tuesday week.
How much change do the boys each have if they split their money?
On Wednesday evenings Michael Riddle plays the fiddle in a local band at the Green Man drinkery. The song, Quare Bungle Rye, which they are well known for, usually takes two and a half minutes to play with Shayne beating the Bodhran every two and a quarter seconds. Shayne works for the HighWays Agency and this evening he has a bad case of ‘vibration white finger’ so Johnny McFarlane has taken his place. Johnny lost his thumb at a meat processing factory so beats the Bodhran more slowly, every three seconds. There is a short silent segment in the song when Michael emits a shrill yelping sound and a chosen member of the audience bashes a Shillalegh on the floor, this lasts for seven and a half seconds.
How long will the band take to play Quare Bungle Rye?
Show workings for your answer.
Today it is Lawrence and Marjory’s wedding. Lawrence has three brothers, Paul, James and Ted, and two half sisters by his step father, Phyllis and Brenda. Phyllis has a daughter called Melanie. Marjory’s mother lives in Australia now with her new husband Frank and her father is married to Paul’s eldest daughter June. Brenda is engaged to Lawrence’s cousin on his step father’s side who is also Marjory’s second cousin by her Aunty Jackie, they are expecting a baby and Ted will be Godfather.
What relation will their baby be to Lawrence’s biological father? Explain your answer.
Ruth is making lemonade for St James Girl Guide’s annual Jamboree, each lemon produces 4 ounces of juice per 65 grams of fruit. Ruth enjoys making lemonade. There will be 123 guests at the Jamboree including some Scouts. Ruth must allow 2.5 cups of lemonade per guest and charge 2pence per cup. She must pour the lemonade into glass jugs which hold 4 pints in volume. The lemon juice is diluted thus, 1 part juice, 6 parts water, 2 parts sugar, How much profit will she make if the lemons cost 15pence per pound, the sugar 7.5pence per half pound and she allows 5 percent in spillage waste? (Ruth expects to sell all her delicious lemonade on the day)
3 MONTHS LATER
Mum - ‘Sorry Nigel, you haven’t passed the exam.’
‘Oh, how did George do….and Bill and Johnny?’
‘They all passed, I'm afraid love,’ she said, placing her hand over Nigel’s.
‘’What about Freddie Whale, he can’t have passed?’
Mum, exhaled sharply and said, ‘Even Freddie Whale passed.’
Nigel’s head dropped. ‘Does that mean I’ll be going to the Secondary Modern then?’
‘Yes, you’ll be able to learn woodwork and sport, practical skills and how to drive buses, cut hair and fix things.’
‘But I want to be an architect,’ Nigel looked forlorn.
‘Now, don’t get ideas above your station Nigel. That’s it now, that’s how it works, you’ve failed the exam so at least you know who you are now.’