Who patented barbed wire?

Life’s a try at knowing all that’s known.

Unless our brains are silicon, that can never be entire.

But there’s a place within your cortex you can go

if the question’s raised as to who patented barbed wire.

 

Glidden! Joseph Glidden!

To sub-divide the land

was the task that he was bidden.

The facts are right at hand,

and it’s not as if they’re hidden.

Joseph Glidden! That’s who.

 

He patented the wire that helps contain a cow.

They would test a strand of it, then moo a plaintive ‘Ow’.

Joseph Glidden knew that he would be a rich man now.

Ranchers gave him money, and the extra he endowed.

 

Glidden! Joseph Glidden!

Amassed the pile of cash

on which he’s sittin’.

He saved the harried cowpokes

who were contemplatin’ quittin’.

Joseph Glidden! That’s who.

 

Glidden! Joseph Glidden!

Check the internet if

you think that I am kiddin’.

He believed in placing safety first.

He wore a pair of mittens.

Joseph Glidden! That’s who.

 

Glidden rivaled cattledom through the crap he made.

His wire beat out Wonder Bread on the hit parade.

He bobbed within a swollen creek made of only cash.

He utilized the wiry stuff to help protect his stash.

 

One of many shames- that there weren’t buffalo around.

They could simply scratch their backs and bring a fence-post down.

Glidden coulda took that loot and traveled here and there.

Then, perhaps he couldn’t, what with wire everywhere.

 

Glidden! Joseph Glidden!

I would say, at this point,

you have no chance of forgettin’

the name that’s right on trivia night

or any quiz that’s fittin’.

The name to blame when you’re hauled in

for something that you didn’t.

 

Joseph Glidden!

 

Glidden! Joseph Glidden!

Dart out there right now

and lead enthusiastic cheers.

Take the stage and sing it loud,

so everybody hears!

 

Joseph Glidden!

 

That’s who.