Who Dares Wins Part 3

Back up oan ma feet before this war ae words gits the chance tae grow anymaire legs. Ah swivel ma heid aroond in the direction ae where Aldo goat his marchin orders. And tae be frank wae yae. Even though ah’ve never been yin tae believe in any fairytale pish aboot love at first sight. Lookin at her in that moment and ma scepticism oan the matter dissipates. Fur she is the maist mesmerisin burd ah hink ah’ve ever seen. She’s in her early thirties. Dressed in a rid lace boadysuit and is enthusiastically wavin fur me tae come talk tae her. Wae ease ah shuffle ma wey through the crowd.  Thankfully. jist as ah’m starin intae her bright blue eyes ah recover ma voice.

‘’Hiya’’ ah say, nervously. Tryin ma best no tae stare at this knockout’s wavy beachy hair and glowin skin. ‘’Ma mate said yae wanted tae chat?’’

She instantly flashes a jaw droappin smile ma wey, ‘’Yeah, I never got a chance to thank you for coming to my rescue. Not many guys would have gotten themselves involved. I thought you were so brave’’.

‘’Oh, that’’ ah say, wavin awey her gratitude. ‘’Dinnae mention it. Ah hate bullies, always huv. Actually, ah remember when ah wis sixteen and ah caught an aulder guy beatin a dug ootside the Post Office. Couldnae huv lived wae massel if ah hudnae confronted him. Resulted in me and the dug gittin our heids kicked in, likes. But at the end ae the day the beaten ah took wis worth it’’.

Wae that she bursts intae a fit ae uncontrollable hysterics.

‘’You’re so funny!’’ she insists. “The way you ended that story. I wasn’t expecting that”

The seriousness ae ma words aboot mines and the dugs tragic fate that day clearly bypass her. Probably assumed ah wis talkin shite. But ah wisnae. That boay wis a fuckin animal. But who cares, eh? ah jist go wae the flow.

‘’Aye…gid joke, eh?’’ ah tell her, crumblin intae a timid laughter.

Then, realisin she’s no made a formal introduction yit. She composes herself long enough tae tell me a wee bit maire aboot herself.

‘’Sorry’’ she says, ‘’Where are my manners. My name is Sarah. What’s yours?’’

‘’Oh” ah mutter, shyly. “Ah’m Craig’’

‘’Well, Craig’’ she says, continuin tae smile at me. ‘’Would you like to buy me a drink?’’

‘’You better believe ah wid’’ ah declare. Wae a level ae elation ah cannae possibly contain. ‘’What is it yur huvin? Anyhing you want, it’s yours?’’.

At the blink ae an eye we’re stood beside each other at the bar. Ah’m busy milkin a beer and she’s sippin oan her gless ae red. And before ah ken it wur gazin intae each other’s eyes. The scumbag sexist mind ae that ersehole fae earlier couldnae huv laid the groondwork any better. Ah'm no completely deluded either, though. This is hardly a level playin field when it comes tae the looks department. She’s an easy ten and ah’m at best a miserable six. Who doesnae love an underdog, though, eh? God loves a trier, efteraw.

‘’Ah huvnae seen yae in here before, Sarah’’ ah say, trailin ma finger along the smooth rim ae the gless. ‘’Dae yae live local?’’

‘’No’’ she returns. ‘’My friend Sharon moved into the area. Hence why I’m here tonight. I live in Newington with my son. Just off The Meadows’’.

‘’Oh, and does yur boyfriend live wae you two, ah take it? Or mibbe yur husband?’’ ah ask that casually, likes.  In the hope ae geein oaff the impression that ah dinnae care. But obviously the opposite is true. In fact, ah’m practically huddin ma breath. Desperately awaitin her answer.

‘’Unfortunately, no” she explains. “Fatherhood didn’t quite agree with Jamie’s dad’s lifestyle. That’s why it’s just been me and him for a while now. What about yourself? Do you have any children? Or a partner?’’

Soon as ah git the information ah wanted. Tae tell yae the truth, ah felt like raisin a gless tae the dafty who lit her slip through his fingers.

‘’Sorry, tae hear that aboot yur sons da’’ ah confess tae her. Dain ma best tae soond gutted ‘’But aye. Ah do huv a young son massel. His name is Joseph. He’s the apple ae ma eye, if yae must ken. And as fur his mother? Well, lits jist say she recently informed me that ah’m the wrong gender fur her. She’s decided tae bat fur the other side”

‘’Seriously?’’ she shrieks, visibly confused. ‘’And there’s not even the slightest chance that you two will reconcile?”

‘’No even a hint ae any hope, tae be honest. Mean, no unless ah follae that Bruce Jenners lead in the morning. Thoat it might be a wee phase she’s gone through, likes. But, naw. She’s definitely made up her mind”

 Wae that piece ae intel a smile grows wider acroass her enchantin puss until eventually she starts creasin herself. She attempts tae pit a halt tae her laughter by coverin her mooth wae her hand. But it’s too late.

‘’Sorry, I shouldn’t laugh’’ she says. Gradually calmin herself doon. “It’s the way you said it”

‘’Nah, need need fur an apology” ah tell her. “It’s fine. In fact, sayin it oot loud like that hus helped a wee bit. Ah guess ah kin finally see the funny side ae it massel’’.

She teasingly bends forward, ‘’There’s no pressure Craig and please feel free to say no. But Jamie’s staying at my mums this weekend. So, I was wondering if you maybe would like to go for drink somewhere a bit more quieter?  I know a lovely little pub just off the Grassmarket’’.

‘’Ah wid fuckin love that’’ ah pop, unable tae hide ma delight.

Cupid’s arrow hus certainly left a bruise. Incredibly its maire than clear that the feelin is mutual. The sparks between us are flyin everywhere. Until, that is, Aldo miraculously appears oot ae thin air. Like some an unwanted bad smell stinkin oot the place.

‘’Craigy, ah jist hae yin question fur yae, mate’’ he gushes, starin between the two ae us. ‘’Does she chairge by the hour?’’. Then, this insensitive prick faws intae a fit ae the giggles. The cunts his ain favourite humourless comedian ‘’C’moan, mate’’ he eventually continues oan. ‘’There’s a boattle ae Bud waitin fur yae back at the table’’.

A cauld shiver ripples doon ma spine as he finally fuck’s oaff, still belly laughin awey tae himself. It’s a proper pathetic sight.

‘’Isn’t he your friend?’’ Sarah asks, curiously.

‘’Aye, he is” ah tell her. “At least he’s supposed tae be. Anywey Sarah. Gone jist gees a minute. Ah better tell him and ma other pal that we’re gone somewhere else fur the rest ae the night’’.

‘’No problem, Craig’’ she says. ‘’I better tell Sharon as well anyway’’.

Ah directly return tae Aldo and Dougie’s table, standin in front thum. Unsurprisingly, that big bastard is still revellin in his role as the cless clown.

‘’Finally came tae her senses, did she?’’ he sniggers, knoackin back his bottle. ‘’It wis a gid run while it lasted man’’

‘’If you mean did she jist ask me tae abandon this shithole wae her? Then, aye. Yur right, she did. Me and her are oaff over tae the Grassmarket now. Which is the reason ah’m here. Tae say goodnight tae the pair ae yae”

Him and Dougie stare at yin another. Baith completely dumbfounded by ma revelation. In time, Aldo recovers and speaks up.

‘’Listen, mate’’ he tells me. ‘’Ah love yae dearly, n aw that. But Miss Scotland there must be dain aw this fur a dare or suttin’’

Ah quickly rest baith hands oan the table, ‘’Well, if that’s the case’’ ah beam, straight intae his puss. ‘’Ah better make sure she wins her bet then, eh? Ah’’ll gie you’s two a bell the morn. Keep use informed oan how the remainder ae ma night went”

Ah walk awey wae ma heid held high. It’s no long before ah cloack Sarah awready waitin fur me by the front door. Yince ah reach her she lovingly snatches ma hand. Squeezin it tightly wae evident excitement. And as wae stroll ootae there together. Ah cannae quite brush oaff the feelin that this might be the start ae a beautiful relationship.