Journal

I threw the glass to the sink to see it shatter into pieces. I picked up those shattered pieces of glass and made my way back to my beat down bed. I started with my hand,

Buried beneath the soil you sleep to the lullaby of bereavement, good night and with this last kiss I bid you farewell. I leave you with the knowledge that this guilt will be branded in my heart for the rest of my being

sometimes I even forget about how good I actually am at fooling these people. They are so convinced that I am getting better, that now I would go home everyday smiling and loving life. They mock my tears and my endless mood swings but I mock their stupidity that they think my sorrows can be alleviated so soon. I can't stop snorting my Ritalin even though it doesn't do much for me at least its something, at least it is something I can rely on, somehow the presence of chemicals in my body satisfies me, reassures me

My writings on the walls, in my notebooks, in my mind”all of them are for you. The drawings of the make believe heart, with the blacken heart the arrow going through it.