My Dinosaur Era Chapter 42

 

back at the beach, I can see the women 

ginny bouncing up and down

patrycja lying back on the sand

petula sat upright, slightly apart

hands clasping her knees

the people are different now, late afternoon

those that have finished work

young people who have found their way into the sunlight

I pick my way through them, smiling

mildly inebriated

from wine, from the sun, from hope

I sit next to petula, she stays looking ahead

did you swim, I say

no, not yet, she says

patrycja stands up and goes with ginny, back into the sea

 

timmy, says petula

        

        yes, I say

 

I’m actually terrified

    

        what are you terrified of

 

going back, figuring out all the shit that I left behind

 

you didn’t leave any shit behind, you left a shit situation, true

 

is it really that simple, I just go back to brighton and start a new life, with you, on my own, fresh start, all that jazz

 

it’s never simple, no, but we can make it as simple as we can, we’ve got your back, there’s love for you here

 

love conquers all, right, christ the number of times I heard jonny say how much he loved me, I could never say it back, not even once, not even when it would have helped me to do so

 

selfish romantic love, love that squeezes you, that forces you to be what someone else wants, that ain’t love

 

I know, I’m sorry, I don’t know why I brought jonny into this, that prick never loved me, I was his trophy girlfriend, not even a very good trophy at that

 

petula, I care about you, ginny cares about you, patrycja cares about you, this is love, why do you think you are here, what brought you here, it wasn’t just anger and fear was it

 

no, I came here because I felt like I could trust you

 

        because of jurassic park

 

mainly because of jurassic park, yes

 

ginny waves from the waves

we wave back

I touch petula’s elbow

she turns to look at me

 

        do you still trust me

 

yes, timmy, I do, all of you

 

        good

 

patrycja mentioned about the ferry tomorrow, are you sure you don’t mind going back early

 

        it’s only a day early and it was an early flight so we are not missing much

 

she said it’s nearly thirty hours

 

        yeah, it’ll give us time to figure some stuff out perhaps

 

yeah, like where I’m going to live

 

        I have an idea about that

 

oh yeah

 

ginny comes scampering up the beach

patrycja follows her, leisurely pace

oh my god, we’re going on a massive boat, says ginny

yes, we are, I say

oh shit, that reminds me, the funicular railway, I’ve not been yet, oh god, where is it, patrycja, where is it, says ginny

we laugh at her, spinning around, excited, a tiny tornado

hey, relax, it’s open till the evening, says patrycja

oh, right, good, says ginny

it’s five now, we can go soon, is it far, I say

ten minute walk, just over there, says patrycja

a funicular today and a big boat tomorrow, I’m so excited, says ginny

are you into modes of transport generally then, says petula

hmm, well, mainly buses at home, I take the number two bus, it goes all the way from rottingdean to steyning, takes ages, like two hours sometimes, says ginny

my phone is nearly all selfies that ginny has taken on the bus whilst drinking cans of beer, I say

wow, you’ll have to show me your collection sometime, says petula

you are a funny little person, says patrycja

I am, I’m fucking hilarious, says ginny

ginny throws herself at patrycja

arms just about reaching around her neck

patrycja picks her up, swings her like a child

ginny screeches, she swings her again

 

aaaaarrrryyyyrrggghhhhh

 

we join in with her noise, we laugh, lying in the sand, breathless

ginny comes back to earth, still clinging to patrycja

fucking hell you are strong, says ginny

no, you are just small, says patrycja

ginny buries her head in patrycja’s breasts

they rock each other, peace reigns for a moment

ginny pulls away

come on, we need to get on that little train, says ginny

there’s an amusement park at the top, says patrycja

fuck, really, says ginny

yes, but it is closed till june comes. says patrycja

why the fuck would you get me all excited about it, says ginny

because it is funny to see your face like this, says patrycja

you are mean, says ginny

she grins, slides her dress up over her still damp bikini

well come on you two, I want to go sightseeing, says ginny

we get to our feet

you are such a bully, I say

oh shush, timmy, you love it, she says

ginny and patrycja walk on ahead of us

I take petula’s hand, turn her gently towards me

funny though, you don’t see her trying to bully patrycja, do you, I say

she wouldn’t get very far, says petula

yeah, she’s right though, I do like it when she bullies me, it’s her way of caring, as fucking strange as it is, I say

she really loves you, says petula

in her own way, yes she does, I say

do you ever wonder if you might be in love with her, says petula

I have done, yes, but I’m not, I say

how can you be so sure, says petula

because I don’t believe in the whole in love thing, you either love someone or you don’t, I say

hmm, ok, let’s go and see her funny little train and we can talk more about this when we are passing the time on the ferry, says petula

twenty nine hours stuck on a boat with me, lucky you, I say