Two Minutes to Midnight - Test Chapter
By Bethan Hall
(Just for quick context: Hello! This is just a quick chapter I wanted to take place in the middle of the novel I'm writing between two of the main chatacters and I'd really appreciate any feedback! In the novel the main character all have a condition that makes them a conduit for otherworldly things to try and get them in their dreams in order to come into this world. I'd just in gerenral like to know if this scene works. Also, if you'd like to be ONE OF MY FAVOURITE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD you could read the opening chapters here for more context: http://www.abctales.com/story/calvin-hodgson/two-minutes-midnight-openin...
"Think about it though," Lily was sat up in bed, her bare body being poked at by the cold as I slowly ran my hand across her back. All her walls had been stripped away and all I had to see was her white skin and her red hair, no darkness, no black but her fingernails. "The human race looked up into the sky for so long wondering if we were alone in the universe - the fricking UNIVERSE. I mean it's even amazing that we know it's there let alone the fact that it exists. And 60 years later after we managed to land ON THE MOON! We've gave up. Why? We were so lonely, we wanted a friend so much somewhere in the dark and we stopped trying! Don't we think we deserve it? Are we not interested anymore?" she paused for a moment and forced the passion out of her voice. "It just really annoys me."
"Don't do that," I said, softly annoyed.
"Catch yourself." I sat up beside her and gave a shiver. I felt exposed, and not because I was shirtless. "Let what you wanna say sweep you away. When you stop talking like I love to hear you talk, just because some arsehole one time told you ‘they don't care’ and you don't want that to happen again, you put up a wall I can't climb."
Lily smiled at herself and looked down at the bed, letting her hair fall over her red cheeks. "So do you believe in aliens then?" her green pupils dug into me.
"Either way I don't fancy our chances if they turn up."
"That is not an answer."
I thought for a moment. Given my encounters with stars it strangely wasn't something I'd often thought about. "Maybe," I shrugged.
"That's not an answer either!" she playfully shouted as she pushed me over onto my side. Her warm hands felt like fire. She slumped her body onto mine. "I'm not letting you go until you give me an answer," she said into my ear.
"This is a good a place as any to fall asleep," I said in defiance. "Might be the best night's sleep I've had in a long time."
"No," she wrapped her arm around my stomach. "You're not drifting off until I get an answer." She began to fondle my face and poke at my chest to keep me awake.
Her hair was ticking my back so I likely couldn't have gone to dream even if I'd wanted to. "Okay, yes, I do."
She quickly raised her head from my side, "Perfect." She smiled and landed a kiss on my shoulder. Then, with more force than she probably intended, slumped back onto me. "I'm still not letting you go though.” She pulled me tighter. "Since you like being underneath me so much."
I forced my eyes to open. The red-haired pain knew I'd have no idea how to respond. "I said I'm just tired."
She laughed at the awkwardness she had inflicted. "I know, and I forgive you." She strained to peck me on the cheek. "Now go to sleep. I'm quite comfortable here too." She was tracing swirly patterns on my shoulder. "It's a big day tomorrow. Sweet dreams."
"Sweet dreams," I said like a prayer and stroked her hand as we both fell slowly into silence. In under an hour we were entire worlds apart.