Through a Window Dark

Through a window dark,
you may have forgotten me,
the bastard son,
a mistake that cannot be undone.
I remember you,
the hate satures that memory,
of when you were never there,
nor did I ever need a father,
I raised myself as best as I could.

Through a window dark,
they say to give you a chance,
to at least say hello,
or perhaps a bitter goodbye.
My convictions do not forgive,
still the obtuse question looms,
what if it were,
or is it better if not,
should you be given the redemption,
you think you deserve.
Or perhaps never is better than always.
Only if I earned the will to know myself,
and you for what I thought you were.