Sonnet in Silence

Cherry

By D G Moody

Thu, 09 Jan 2025
  • 390 reads
9 comments
 

They had walked along the beach in silence,               
When she, taking his silence as separation
Had asked him what he was now thinking, as
Though his thoughts to himself did not belong,
But just as much to her, so he might as well
Surrender with grace without an appeal
To any inner privacy he’d not yet shared; 
So, what was thought could also be heard,
By becoming less his own and as much hers.
And was that his fear – of being conjoined
In more than in body but as much in mind,
When being himself was what he thought?
All this passed through his mind so fast that
As he looked at her he knew himself caught.

D G Moody 2025

Certificate U
Poem
Philosophy
Unclassified
Philosophy
Love

Comments

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thought-provoking.

I know my husband found the idea difficult of losing privacy of mind when we got married. His family were very reticent, and mine were bubbly and open. But I think we had an ability to be open while yet maintaining essential privacy, without that noticable 'I'm hiding something back from you' look on our faces! He still has difficulty in rememberig things he should share. Our children frequently send us both emails on something just in case! But he is a good listener and people know he won't thoughtlessly babble aout what they share with him! Sometimes our weaknesses are also our strengths? Rhiannon

 

Submitted by D G Moody on

Thanks for the feedback Rhiannon. On reflection I think that it is more of a male thing - the not sharing aspects of ones inner life; though I have to confess much of mine is fairly boring. With my wife I find that I can intuit more of her inner feelings by how she looks, and likewise with her - maybe that's the result of loving together so long.

And my thanks to our editors for the cherries, I can see I'm in good company at present. And I've also edited the poem a bit, and still not happy with the least line.

Dougie Moody

Submitted by Di_Hard on

I liked this a lot, too. How you describe the outer wide space of the beach, and the inner space each of us carries. As if afraid of another's footprints in one's mind, but also the possibility for there being a new beach, a new horizon, in the other person, to explore, too

 

Submitted by D G Moody on

Thanks for the interesting comment Di. In itself I thought it poetic as taking my initial theme and extending it.

Dougie Moody

Submitted by Turlough on

An inner privacy's a great place. I thrive in mine. People sometimes think I'm miserable or depressed but I'm not. I'm just being alone whilst in the company of others, knowing that I'm not boring anybody and that I'm not likely to be disagreed with. Incessant chatter has a more negative effect on me than silence does.

Your poem describes perfectly how I have felt when challenged to reveal what I'm thinking about. It's usually something like 'who's going to win the FA Cup?' or 'what does setting number 8 on the washing machine do?' which isn't really worth sharing or bothering about.

I enjoyed your writing Dougie. It made me think... but I didn't discuss it with anybody.

Turlough

Submitted by D G Moody on

I did smile on the last line Turlough; and yes, I have to confess I'm of like mind, inasmuch as I can get irritated if asked that question. And like I wrote to Rhiannon it's probably more of a male thing; for myself it was being alone in a house with six siblings, parents, and a granny, where I acquired a private inner life. 

Dougie Moody

Submitted by D G Moody on

Not being happy with the ending I revised the whole poem, into what is a new version. 

Dougie Moody

Submitted by Tom Brown on

There was a girl's company she also kept on asking me the whole time what I was thinking. It is very unfair you know.

Well, Keep well, and good luck! Tom

 

Submitted by D G Moody on

Thanks Tom, and it is interesting how we guard our inner life from casual observation; in my case my wife has learnt to easily read my mind so has no need to as the question. wink

By the way, yet another update above .

Dougie Moody