The Surplus Theory In Economics
One of the most contentious areas in the history of economics has been the theory of surplus toast. It has often been argued by left-leaning economists that the amount of surplus toast circulating in any economy shows that that economy is not maximizing its returns to each and every member of that society as equitably as possible. However, to those economists more to the political right this is simply not true, or to use the correct Theoretical Economics term ‘a load of bollocks’. To those economists on the right the amount of surplus toast in any economy is actually a measure of just how well that economy is doing. In fact, they argue, it is this production of so-called ‘surplus toast’ that is, indeed, the whole point of economic activity. As they so rightly argue, in the words of Nobel winning economist Mervin Friedbread ‘a life without a plentiful supply of toast is hardly living at all.’
Of course, as Lenin claimed, citing Marx, ‘under communism there will be toast aplenty for every worker – from each according to their toasting fork, toast according to their needs.’ However, despite Stalin’s later investment in massive toast engineering factories, which claimed to produce several thousand slices of toast a day to feed the heroic soviet workers, we are now all only too aware of that - in reality - the Toastski shops in every Soviet town had only bare shelves. No-one really knows, even now, how many thousands, if not millions, of rural peasants died through starvation brought about by a simple basic lack of toast. We do now know, though, that there was a thriving black market in smuggled western toasters, and how only communist party connections could ensure a supply of the vital marmalade for whatever limited amounts of toast an Eastern block citizen could acquire for themselves.
Of course, the market system is not perfect, but nothing ever is. Sometimes some people at the lower ends of society have to do without toast during some periods of their lives, while others have far more toast than they could ever butter in one lifetime. However, as economists of toast have pointed out, it is this ‘surplus’ of toast within the system that keeps the price of toast down, making it – in most cases – affordable to everyone. More to the point, it is the free market in toast that has enabled toasting technology to develop from the humble toasting fork up to the multi-slice toasters now available in most households in the free world. Furthermore, the free market system in toast has made a huge range of toastable types of bread available, along with the many, many different forms and flavours of marmalade that can now be purchased by the dedicated toast connoisseur.
In short, then, it is the free market system that has banished forever the hideous possibility of someone going through life without any toast at all, and for that we should all be grateful.