A Trip to Dear Old Limerick...

A few of my old limericks!

Image: mine

 

There was an old prophet called Moses

who didn’t like getting wet toeses.

When he got to the sea

he would part it, ‘cos he

was much cleverer than one supposes.

 

A detective who lived in Reculver

was hired as a homicide solver.

He deduced “Mrs White

did the deed in the night

in the library with the revolver.”

 

A DIY girl called Amanda

bought herself an electrical sander

and used it to smooth

all the pine tongue-and-groove

that she’d used to construct her verandah.

 

A robber named Ken was enticed

to take part in a bullion heist.

And his greed, it was such

that he took far too much,

though just half of it would have sufficed.

 

A busy old mother called Hubbard

had a trolley she kept in a cupboard

which she used for her shopping,

though she had to keep stopping

‘cos she needed to get the wheels rubbered.

 

An unfortunate chap named McGrath

fell asleep while he lay in the bath,

which shrivelled his skin

from his toes to his chin

and shrank his John Thomas by half.

 

There was a young fellow called Maurice

who married a woman called Doris.

They settled in Stroud

and were soon very proud

of a new baby boy they called Horace.

 

There was a young fellow named Titian

who decided to make it his mission

to follow his heart

and take lessons in art,

which was rather a splendid decision.

 

A stunning stunt-woman named Cholmondley,

while extremely attractive and colmondley,

didn’t mind getting bruised

so was quite often used

as a double for Joanna Lolmondley.

 

A willing young worker named Fanshawe,

when asked if he could said “I can, sure…

…just leave it to me

and you’ll pretty soon see

that for any old job, I’m your man, sure.”