Snake Eyes May Cry

Ninety days ago, I had a future. I followed their rules, served their kingdom, settled their invoices. I volunteered in their office, signed the papers, registered as they demanded. Everything, the chance to stay, to be with him, to have a life, to share time. All of it, vanished in an instant. One second. That’s all it takes to rip a life apart. Five days ago, I saw the truth. Systems existed to display order, not enforce it.

“Unfortunately, I can’t do anything for you. You’re an illegitimate resident. I can present your case, but not for another week. If the board isn’t available, you’ll remain in the same position.”

It was always a woman in dull colours, the weight of time settled in her eyes, delivering ruin wrapped in bureaucratic indifference. A flicker of discomfort crossed her face as if my crumbling resolve unsettled her. Tears burned my skin, disappointment a slow poison. My mind circled the mountain of my defeat while my heart willed itself to steel. If it bled, I felt every drop. The system failed me, though it prided itself on order. And that woman, she’d be the face I remembered, the one who shattered my world.

Fear locked my throat, choked every word fighting to escape. Pain turned lethal. If death had a sensation, it would be this, a silent rage clawing at my lungs.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured. “I hate to separate families.”

I did everything. If I pitied myself, I pitied more the sacrifices made for me—by him, the man I loved; by her, the one I carried, the life not yet met. A choice loomed. Walk away, lose him, condemn her, the unborn to the world, to hardship. Or fight, take the next best plan, find a way back, or die trying. Exhaling, I counted my breaths. Every tear marked another second wasted. I had to decide. I had to do it alone.

My throat burned. My voice scraped free. “Where do I enroll?”

******

Fatigue was a luxury I couldn't afford. Every second mattered. And every second they stalled mattered even more.

“Ariana Erivo!” The officer called. My turn. My one call. The only thing they allowed—the army’s weak attempt at mercy after forcing us out.

I wasn’t grateful. But I took the right they gave me.

A quarter dropped into the slot. Eyes shut. A heartbeat raced. One chance.

“Ariana!”

His voice hit me like a blade. My heart plummeted. Tears flooded. Everything. Everything. That’s what emotions felt like.

“How are—sorry, is today better than yesterday?”

A laugh sputtered out, wet with snot and grief. He got my letter. In a place like this, where a kingdom starved you of dignity, where pain fed the silence, 'how are you' was the wrong question. Because the answer never came warm; Do I spread my hate?  Do I confess the vengeance I dreamed of, the faces I hunted in my mind? He was the only tether keeping me from chasing my convictions.

“I’m training hard,” I said. Stern. Cold. Recalling her words—“You must prove you’re better than the average Titan.”

The average Titan? The one living off parents, cursing the kingdom but never moving a finger? The one drowning in drugs and illicit affairs, ranting about women and men, and loyalty? The kind ridiculing their people  and abandoning them for something better but was never told they were the failure? They could never be anything because they never knew the value of something. That average Titan? That was the bar?

“I can’t lose if I keep training,” I muttered, thinking of my trials. My fingers tightening around the bandage on my wrist. “I’m going to make it even if it kills Noah.”

My voice choked. Rage boiled. He heard sorrow.

“I’m doing everything I can,” he whispered. “I wish it could be different.”

Me too.

Hand pressed against my stomach, I wished upon a thousand shooting stars. Wished for a justice system that lived up to its name. Wished for laws unswayed by greed and prejudice. Wished I had enough money to buy my way out and disappear.

Eyes clenched, I forced the tears to dry. “Love you to death, Noah.”

Silence. Then a sigh. The weight of everything pressed between us. He couldn’t say it back.

“How is the unborn? How is she?”

“Hanging in there.”

Three beats. That’s how it took before he opened his mouth again. “Are you sure? About not telling them?”

“If they know I’m with child, I can’t compete Noah. I would give birth here and would have to wait till I’m strong enough to compete. And if I die in competition, I leave her behind, to carry my fate. Do you want that?” And besides, the guards, the Titans, would see my pregnancy as a trap. A way to depend on the benefits of their kingdom. “Noah, they want Doyens stronger than the Titans they controlled. I have to be better.”

A siren blared. The guard barked. “Time’s up!”

“I’ve got to go,” he whispered, words cutting through the static. “Same time tomorrow?”

Same time. I hung up, wiped my face clean. My heart hardened. Three battles. That’s all it came down to. Field. Desk. Combat. Once I won, once everyone who stood in my way fell, I’d be home.

**********

Returning to the circuit the base we called home was stepping into a battlefield where anger and despair were the only uniforms. We wore the same brown clothing, from head to toe. A suffocating second skin that erased our identities. Fabric clung to our bodies, thick and coarse, masking every inch of us. Faces hidden, hands gloved, boots laced high. Out there, we were no longer people. Just another number in brown, indistinguishable from the next. Stripped of individuality, reduced to function. Anger sharpened my focus, but left unchecked, it destroyed, I reminded myself, stepping up.

“Ariana Erivo,” the Senator called out, his voice echoing across the chamber. My name. My fate. Field, Desk, Combat; three trials to the other side. Today was the first. Field. One weapon. One choice. Those were the rules.

“A compass,” I declared. Cheers erupted, but they meant nothing. If they celebrated success, I was immune. If they cheered for death, the calling rang louder. They had reduced us to this, hadn’t they? Dying. The dream of dying. If they wanted Titans and Doyens to co-exist, I wouldn’t be here? I thought to myself. Like I said in the beginning, I did it all. If they wanted Titans and Doyens to co-exist, it wouldn’t be this brutal.

“Lacey Friedrich,” the Senator called out. Everybody started this journey with one person, she was mine. Frail, she was, almost spent.

“Spear,” she cried, her weapon of choice.  The crowd roared louder.

I raised my compass. “Ariana Erivo. My dream is to return home.”

The words rang hollow. The task: survive the maze. Find the holster which was the weapon that would give me access to the next stage: Desk.

“Lacey Friedrich. My dream, freedom.” She punched the spear into the air.  The spear would defend her. The compass would guide me. The difference in our uniforms. I needed direction, she, protection. 

********

“You’re hurt,” Lacey rushed toward me. She shouldn’t have. One of the hunters got to me.  The hunters roamed the maze, creatures masked to hinder us. Invisible, but we knew they existed. That was how we prepared. Field, Desk, Combat. “You’re going to feel this.” Lacey whispered, yanking the nail from the side of my breast. A scream tore from my throat. Not for the wound, not for the pain, but for all of it. For the nights Titans forced me to forsake my humanity and beg for freedom. “Here.” She jabbed holes in her shirt with the spear, tore off the fabric, and pressed it against my wound. “Stop the bleeding.” Her lips curled, muddied from the journey. “You took a knock.”

My forehead throbbed. A branch had caught me when the hunter struck. I hadn’t felt it until now. Pain meant nothing until someone pointed it out, just like I hadn’t realised I wasn’t enough until she— the woman reminded me.

I braced against her shoulder. Ironically, the strongest among us. She dragged me toward a stone beneath the trees, tucking us beneath the leaves.

“They’re coming.” She whispered.

The hunters.

“Go.” The words rattled through my chest, shaking the wound. She had a life to fight for too. That had to—

Blood splattered my face.

An arrow burst through her spine, splitting her in two.

The only sound, mine. The only river, flowed from my eyes. The hunter was still out there.  Through the blur, I saw him. The hunter. Emerging from the trees. Advancing.

I didn’t plead for my life. I pleaded for hers.

“I’m with child!”

Snake eyes.

The woman who sentenced me here had tiger’s eyes—unyielding, ruthless. But his? The end of everything rested in his.

Eyes I recognised.

Eyes of a man I thought I knew.

Noah.