Booty Ain't What It Used to Be

I wrote a pirate sea shanty lyrics (with an Irish vibe first) last week. A gag on modern piracy compared to how it was in the old days It soon became a reggae tune. Though, these are the worst naval/internet pirates ever concocted, I believe. All in the spirit of comedy, because I can't write anything serious.:)

[Intro, Spoken - Male Vocals]
Booty ain’t what it used to be...
let me tell you a modern story of the seven seas!

[Verse 1]
We set sail in a dinghy with a Twitchy plan,
live streaming on our OnlyFans.
Our Captain wears a tank top and hides his chain,
he’s got a man bun and a quarter brain!

[Chorus]
Booty ain’t what it used to be,
no gold, only NFT scams and Ethereum fees!
We phished a cruise ship with our pirate site,
they called us “noobs” and banned us out right.

[Spoken - Female Vocals]
They knew that word hurts a nerd.

[Instrumental Break]

[Verse 2]
The Captain’s mom texted him and said:
“You’re flunking out,
your father’s annoyed,
you ain’t no pirate, you’re just unemployed!”

[Spoken - Female Vocals]
He set his Discord status to “Bugger Off!”
So, his mom blocked him!

[Male Vocals]
Mommy’s pirate got smashed on his Morgan stash,
tripped on a wire, and ate straight shit!
Our Star-Link sank in a ploppy splash,
and the whole damn crew up and quit!

Our Captain gave up on crypto wealth,
and walked the plank himself.
The cook lost his mind and grabbed the wheel,
said: “Follow my lead or skip your next meal!”

We ran outta gas fighting the swell,
and Captain Cook cursed us all to hell!
A rabble of commoner filth adrift at sea,
no signal, no snacks, nor dignity.

[Chorus]
Booty ain’t what it used to be,
we robbed the top and sold the bottom.
No swords, no brains, no treasure chest,
just debt, regret, and the next failed quest.

[Instrumental Break]

[Bridge - Male Vocals]
Just one single coin, lads, that’s all we need...
a crypto booty for the blockchain breed!
The Navy caught us flying the black flag,
and we tried to play it off like a gag.

“It’s performance art,” we cried in vain,
they called it treason, not a meme campaign.
We offered our V-Bucks to avoid the cage,
they gave us bracelets and said, “Act your age.”

[Verse 3]
While we bow and scrape to prison guards,
our moms are out there living large.
They know how to get paid,
selling their asses on Craigslist for trade.

Captain Cook still dreams of The Pirate Bay,
bored and pining for his crypto stash every day.
All we got from our high-seas crime,
was a Navy tan and federal time!

[Final Chorus]
Booty ain’t what it used to be,
we chased a coin and got lost at sea.
Now our moms laugh together on Zoom calls,
while we wax floors in the prison halls.

[Instrumental Break]

[Spoken - Male Vocals]
All we wanted was freedom, and a single Bitcoin.

[Spoken - Female Vocals]
You guys are idiots, and you had no plan!

[Spoken - Male Vocals]
Booty ain’t what it used to be.

[Spoken - Female Vocals]
You’re in prison, dipshit... take it like a man.

[Instrumental Finish - Sad, Little Flute]

[End]

#

I see a few issues that I need to address in a V2 (and I'll update this when I do). For instance, the use of "ain't" doesn't seem to fit the vibe. That's my hillbilly nature rearing it's glorious head. If anybody sees anything else that sticks out as an issue, in the interest of making a better song, please do teach and preach!

The tags you see are just meant for anyone else who'd like to put these lyrics into an AI and make other musical vibes with it (or, if you're a musician, here it is for you to play with if you wish).

I went with an Irish vibe for his in my first go, but I'm working on a Caribbean vibe tune as well. In which case words like "ye" has to be changed. I'm also trying my very best to keep it "clean." Here's an AI music version if you wish to hear what it could sound like: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qio3ThABQI

I went in as fast as I could, and made it better, as I learned some new tricks with how to wied the AI, and rewrote just a few words to make the continuity better. Finalized version.