The Mulrooney's - Part Two
“Did you hear something?” said Jay.
“No,” said Sarah. “What did you hear?”
“I thought I heard someone say, ‘Get off my chair.’”
“Well, that’s odd,” said Sarah. “Maybe it’s the ghosts.”
“Dont’ you remember what the neighbors told us when we moved in last week?” said Sarah. ”That there used to be ghosts living here. But the former owners had an exorcist or something come in and drive them out. Maybe they’re back to welcome us to our new home.”
I don’t think it was an exorcist," said Jay. "They were more like ghost-buster types. Paranormal extinguishers, I think they’re called. I don’t put much stock in that sort of thing, anyway. A family of ghosts running around the house like they still owned the place. Like they weren’t even dead. I don’t believe in ghosts, Sarah. An old guy walking about in a tuxedo and top hat? And a little boy in a sailor suit skipping rope? I mean, really? And where’d they get the clothes? I can sort of rationalize a person dying and the soul rising from their cold dead body. But fully dressed? No. And what sort of guy gets buried in a top hat anyway? I’m sure if you dug up his coffin, he’d be looking as dead as the day they buried him. Not looking like he’s ready to party. And if there are ghosts here, they’re running around this house naked. That makes more sense than anything. I only hope I don’t get to see them.”
“I suppose you’re right,” said Sarah. “It’s probably just old house noises. We’ll just have to get used to it.”
“I’m sure that’s what it is,” said Jay.
Jay poured himself a cup of coffee and sat back in his kitchen chair, only to have it topple over and come crashing down on the linoleum floor.
“I told him to get off my chair!” said Mr. Mulrooney.
“Rupert!” said Regina. “That was uncalled for. He most certainly would have gotten up at some point! You needn’t have been so rash!”
“He completely ignored my request,” said Mr. Mulrooney. “I spoke quite clearly. And what in hell has happened to my kitchen! It wasn’t like this when we left! I don’t recognize anything but the table and chairs. And why did we leave?”
“Your temper, Rupert," said Regina. “You’ll give yourself a stroke. We were driven out. Remember? All those strange people with their machines?”
“I remember,” said Dickie. “Be gone, apparition! Be gone!”
“Yes, I remember, too,” said Megan. “Into the kettle! Never to return!”
“Into the kettle?” said Mr. Mulrooney. “How undignified. To be put in a kettle and thrown out with the trash!”
“No, dear” said Regina. “I now recall us being put out on the lawn and sold along with some of our other belongings, and a hideous looking thing called Mr. Potato Head. They must have sold us. And these lovely people brought us back home. How fortunate for us. I can’t imagine being anywhere else.”
“Lovely people?” said Mr. Mulrooney. “Look at them! They’re practically fornicating on the kitchen floor!”
“There,” said Sarah. “Feeling better?”
“I’d feel a whole lot better if there was a bed involved,” said Jay.
“That can be arranged,” said Sarah.
“Oh!” said Mr. Mulrooney. “These people must go! I will not be shamed in my own kitchen!”
“They were only hugging,” said Regina.
“And touching lips,” said Mr. Mulrooney. “For longer than the alloted time.”
“The alloted time?" said Regina. “Dear, you were always such an old fogey, even back in 1890. Now let’s go into the parlor and get our selves reacquainted with the house.”
“What the heck?” said Jay.
“What?” said Sarah.
“Someone just kissed me on the lips,“ said Jay. “And It wasn’t you.”
Eighteen-year-old Megan was last in line to leave the kitchen.
“So that’s what kissing feels like.” said Megan. “I think I’m going to like kissing that handsome man.”