Parables of Clippety (3) - Going Backwards

 

They both looked at each other and laughed silently. An announcement came over the tannoy to inform the passengers about the buffet car and the availability of sandwiches, hot drinks and snacks and to remind them of their destination just in case anyone was confused about where they were going that day. 

 

‘Are you sure you’re alright going backwards Marni?’

 

‘Yes I think so, I took vertigo tablets anyway because I’m bound to be feeling giddy later on. Hey, I didn’t think we’d have the table to ourselves.’

 

‘I know, it’s wonderful. Are you hungry Marni, shall I get us a sandwich?’

 

‘I thought we were going to get something in Liverpool?’

 

‘Mmm, I wondered about that and I thought maybe we shouldn’t eat anything too close to the actual event, partly because of our outfits, we want to look hot, we don’t want to be bloated. Also we might need to move fast when we squirrel him away to our lair, plus we don’t want bits of food in our teeth. I thought if we get a BLT now and maybe a snack, that will fill us up and we won’t need anything later.’

 

‘B L T,’ Marni said slowly. ‘Is that what you’re having?’

 

Clare nodded and shuffled out of her seat and along the one next to her, clutching her purse. It was no good negotiating with Marni about sandwich fillings or anything else associated with food since she could never make a decision. She strolled up through the empty carriages to the buffet car where an extremely smartly dressed, middle-aged man with a fixed facial expression of terror mixed with unbridled hatred asked her what she wanted. It was a good thing she didn’t bother making eye contact with him. She’d long given up on making eye contact with men. There was only one man for her and that was the mystical, magical, masterful, mythical version of Jurgen Klopp.

 

The lunches were handed to her in a little paper bag with square handles and a sprinkling of vitriol which Clare mistook for fairydust and so it made her feel special, as if it contained something more valuable than the sum of its parts. She was feeling ravenously hungry. Perhaps it was something to do with travelling by train but she was never normally this hungry, not even after Zumba class. Carefully she removed the sandwich packs from the bag and placed them on the table, together with two bottles of water and two KitKats. 

 

Marni refrained from looking at the food and focused on Clare’s red nails instead. ‘I wish you’d told me you were getting your nails done red like that!’

 

‘Why?’

 

‘Well, I would have come with you.’

 

‘Couldn’t one of your friends from your make-up course do them for you.’

 

Marni looked sad suddenly. ‘I’m not sure if I’ve made any friends on the course, they’re all young or a bit odd. You know most of them are very, very ugly’ She picked up her sandwich and peered down at the packaging. ‘So what’s this then?’

 

‘BLT, just as we agreed.’ Clare carefully removed the slices of tomato from her sandwich, removed one half and dropped them into the space left behind in the packet. She was a straightforward eater and sunk her teeth into the wide end of the sandwich, demolishing a third of it in one bite. 

 

Marni checked her watch. ‘It won’t be long now. I feel stupid for not visiting Liverpool before, it’s supposed to be lovely.’

 

‘Mmmm,’ Clare pointed with her index finger and quickly chewed so she could speak. ‘I’ve booked the car hire for two o’clock and we can arrive at the hotel any time after one.’

 

‘You’re so organised. I wish I was like you.’

 

‘You have to be, when you’re a single parent with a job. It just stays with you.’ Marni stared at Clare with a fixed expression, unsure of how to respond. Her body language left Clare feeling somehow guilty so she quickly thought of something negative to say about her situation. ‘I wish I knew how to switch off, kick back. The old routine never leaves you.’’

 

‘Well, you know me, I’ve always been a dolly daydream. If you weren’t here with me, I’d likely be on the train to Cornwall, probably in Penzance by now.  Ay, it’s an expensive way to do it though, you know, catching the train and hiring a car too.’

 

Clare exhaled slowly and with her hands placed on the table in front of her, she opened her fingers to display that she was going to say something quite important. ‘Okay, we discussed this already Marni. I’m happy to drive anywhere except for the M25, the M6 or Aldi car park on a Saturday. By using the train for the bulk of the journey, we’re covering our tracks somewhat but we need a car to get to the football ground and for the, well, the kidnapping.’

 

‘Alright,’ Marni nodded, ‘I can’t really say anything because I’ve not driven anywhere since I hit the Lollipop Man.’

 

‘Ah yes, the poor Lollipop Man.’

 

‘It wasn’t my fault, he made it so bloody confusing!’

 

‘His sign said stop Marni. Aren’t you going to eat your sandwich? You are going to need all the strength you’ve got for later.’

 

‘Yes, I’ll have half.’ Marni began to tear at the packaging with her small, pointy white fingers. 

 

 

The announcement on the train tannoy confirmed that the train was pulling into Crewe station. ‘Gosh all these places whizzing past,’ she said, looking all around at the view through the windows, which was of a flat landscape, normal looking red brick houses.

 

‘What places?’

 

‘Places you’ve heard of but they always felt so much farther away, Clare.’

 

‘It’s just down the road really.’

 

‘Crewe!’ Marni announced in a voice which wasn’t her own. ‘You know, Christopher once came here once on a wood carving course, he made me a love spoon.’

 

‘Oh my god, he didn’t. You know, Love Spoons are more of a Welsh thing but I guess we’re pretty close to the Welsh border, close enough for Welsh people to have spilled over with their ornate spoons. Have you still got it?’

 

‘No, no...I burnt it. One day I noticed it hanging on the wall, you know it was as if I was seeing it for the first time, and I just took it off its little hook and chucked it in the fireplace.’ There was a few seconds of silence before they glanced at each other and began shaking with laughter.

 

‘You know,’ said Clare, wiping her nose with a tissue, ‘we’ve both been up North before.’

 

‘I’m from the North of the North!’ Marni snapped.

 

‘I know that but remember when we went to Manchester for the weekend?’

 

Marni nodded. ‘That was a long time ago. Did we pass through Crewe then?’

 

‘No, we went up through Macclesfield.’

 

‘You’ve got a good memory Clare.’

 

‘You should remember, you drove!’

 

Marni sat up in her seat. ‘I did as well,’ she said boldly, ‘I was brave back then, fearless in my Ford Fiesta. It was all happening in Manchester back in the nineties.’

 

‘I don’t think we slept all weekend. Remember that loser we both liked. We almost came to blows over him. He never did write to us did he?’

 

‘Mmmm, actually, he did write to me but I’d already met Chris then and my mum said to just throw his letter in the bin, so I did.’

 

‘Gosh, so he wrote to you, did he? He chose you. You kept that from me Marni.’

 

‘It was no big deal,’ she shrugged. ‘I think we both ended up with even bigger losers, and after that, we just ended up lost, well at least I did.’

 

‘I wonder what he’s doing right now,’ said Clare as she stared wistfully out of the window.

 

Marni nibbled on her sandwich, looking up every few seconds like a little rodent. ‘Probably unblocking his toilet with a long stick. I think I’ll take my tablet now,’ she said and made a play of taking them out of her bag and popping the blister pack. 

 

Clare wasn’t sure exactly what the tablets were for but she knew that Marni took a lot of them for various things. It was odd for somebody seemingly so healthy and fit to be constantly popping pills but she didn’t question it.