Dear Philip, September-October, 2010

September 20th, 2010

Dear Philip,

Things are finally moving. After the first fiasco, when I sold my house within the first week of it being on the market, and it all fell through a week later, after I had had a survey done on the house I wanted to buy, I felt like nobody wanted to buy this house.

But then in June, a young couple with two children (one of whom left his toy tortoise behind so they had to come back the next day to get it) said they liked the house. So I had a bit of encouragement. And then in September, it turned out they had sold their house, and were now wanted to see mine again. They came, and luckily it was a reasonable day (the first time they had seen it, it chucked down) and they did seem quite enthused and although they were off to see a few other properties, I thought maybe this time, it was for real.

Then I had two long days before they made an offer, and another two long days, when I said I wouldn't accept their first offer, and luckily, they upped it. I would have gone with the original offer, if they had refused, and now I am waiting for their surveyor to tell them that lots is wrong, so they can reduce their offer once more.

The offer on the house I want to buy went much the same way. I made a lower offer, which the man was considering, somebody else made a higher offer, so in order to get it, I had to offer the full price after all.

I love it - but I know it wouldn't have been your choice. Still, this house we lived together in for 26 years was never my choice. But all in all, it has been fine, and it will be a big wrench leaving it - mostly because of all the memories of what you
did with it. Like take the clear view wood burning stove. You so loved that, and spent hours chopping wood to feed it. And I never did like it, and don't even like to have it on. But it reminds me of you.

And the huge garden - that I told you when we bought the house that I didn't want anything to do with - it is looking pretty good. My gardener (who hurt his ribs in a fall so missed out one week) mowed the field twice on Monday. The apples did really well. Lots have fallen and you can't even begin to find them with all the
undergrowth in that part of the garden - but it has its wild charm even so. My new house hardly has any garden at all - just a small grassy patch to the front and side, and a hedge, and one tree, which Stephanie says is not a nice kind to have. I think I will take some of the things from this garden with me - like the Norfolk crabapple tree, which did really well this year - and the pampas grass - the original one - now uncovered when I cut the undergrowth way back. And lots of bulbs - daffodils and those orange things I like so much - but not enough to remember their name. And maybe the yellow rose and honeysuckle by the back door. I don't think the new people will miss them.

Getting stuff organised for moving has been a hard job - physically and mentally and emotionally. I had Stephanie and Andrew and Andrea helping last weekend, and they cleared the old attic. I have got most of the stuff down from the other attic, except for Jonathan's junk - and I have gone through that and know what is going with me.

That is the trouble - far more things are going with me than I have places to put them. But the children aren't taking very much - so I sold some furniture to the local antique shop. I did a deal with the lady. There were a few things on offer that she wanted, and in order to get them, she took lots of rubbish along with them. Her moving men  took 17 items, including mostly stuff from your parents. I know that if you were here, you wouldn't have wanted to let them go. But if you were here, we wouldn't be moving, and there was plenty of space in this house. But my new house is half the size or less. Andrea was upset about me getting rid of Granny's old dresser - she says it had been promised to her. But Jeff wouldn't let her take it home anyway - and it is very obvious that they have no space for anything like that in their house. And she also sort of wanted the grey dishes - but she didn't really want them to use - just the idea of having a memory of her grandparents. So it was a hard weekend for her. Stephanie is coming again next week to see who gets what pictures - and if we can offer any of them to brothers when they come up for the symposium they are having at the University in your honour.

I haven't any idea how that is going. Andrea is the liaison person for it, and she doesn't think much has been done at all. But it is important to her to have something to be in charge of - and so she is dealing with it.

October 15th, 2010

Dear Philip,

It seems sometime since I last wrote to you, but now that we are coming up to the first anniversary of your death, I am thinking about you all the time. I haven't been to the cemetery since July - but I will go again soon, to see if they have planted a new tree by your grave, and have mowed the weeds.

Next week will be my birthday. Last year, the family came, and we had quite a party. You bought me a huge TV, (which I thought was way too big at the time, but now I really like it) and a scanner/printer (using the children to do the buying.) Then that evening, you had your second heart malfunction, will all the associated drama of the ambulance and the shock treatment.

A few days after my birthday this year, the University is putting on a symposium in your memory. Stephanie was worried that the organisation would be very bad (since she wasn't in charge) and it was pretty slow at getting off the ground. But I think we have now invited all the important people in your academic life. There will be lunch for relatives (your brothers are coming)  and speakers,
then five talks - each dealing with a different aspect of your research, and a reception following. I hope there is a good turn out. I will write about it afterwards, if there is anything interesting to
add.

In preparation for the move, we have got all the junk out of the attic, and as a result, the spare rooms are full of boxes and trunks. I got rid of loads of books (again you wouldn't have approved) and the profit went to a good charity. I think we must have had thousands of accumulated books - many of which were never read. I have thrown away loads of things. I had a skip which was quickly filled, and also sold 14 items to an antique shop. You would die if you knew what I sold - so I won't tell you. But I will admit that I made a few mistakes and need to cover up my tracks by throwing away the list of family valuables.

Last weekend Andrew and his friend John hired a van, and we had a round robin of taking things from one house to the next, with three stops in between. So although I got rid of maybe 20 items which were going to the girls, I was given in exchange, things from Andrew's dad's house which are no longer of any use to him. Unfortunately, his dad has an incontinence problem which made my house smell a bit like a nursing home for awhile - but with the help of the internet, I got a recipe for dealing with it, and it seems to have worked.

I'm getting my flu shot this morning. I remember last year, in the absolute panic over swine flu - you insisted that I get the injection as you needed protection against catching it. That was really the least of your worries, but you didn't know that at the time.   

I'll write again soon.

Much love from Jean