Perspective
By london_calling79
Thu, 06 Aug 2015
- 1933 reads
8 comments
Starts well.
Continues.
Fresh.
Clean.
Good.
Then
shifts.
Fun
to functional
across blinks
of time.
One day,
head turned by
cold winds,
look around.
Track memory
forward and back.
Sharp breath.
It’s just
the journey.
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Comments
A straight, sharp run through
A straight, sharp run through from start to finish of this journey. Works well.
Bee
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Starts nicely in the food
Starts nicely in the food aisle and then takes a turn into the frozen section.
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The single words and short
The single words and short lines work well here. Gives it a fast pace.
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I liked the crisp format of
I liked the crisp format of this poem and your use of one-word stanzas if that is what they are is effective. And I loved 'Across blinks of time'
Moya
I very much enjoyed your reading at Nottingham too.
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