'How Bloody Much'

Cherry

By Makis

Tue, 05 May 2026
  • 105 reads
9 comments
 

I'm rooted to the forecourt, deathly pale
My senses stunned and my faculties frail
The pump clicks off with haunting sound
As my knees give way to shock profound

The numbers rotated with heartless glee
Revolving relentlessly with callous esprit
Twenty pounds, forty, seventy and more
Surely, it has never been like this before

My heart rate jumps as I grasp my chest
Is this candid camera, a mischievous test
It must be a heist, or a duplicitous crime
So I grab my phone and stab at the nine

'Please get me the police?' I cry out loud,
Immediately attracting a watchful crowd
'They're robbing me blind without a care
Taking far more than a reasonable share.'

An officer answers and demands I explain
So I tell him of petrol and pecuniary pain
How I'd fallen victim to a deceitful gambit
When cruelly duped by a one armed bandit

The constable sighs and confirms all's well
That prices are lofty due to a shady cartel
Relishing the news that an orange juvenile
Has started a war to evade the Epstein file

'Here we go again,' I responded to the man,
'What we'll soon require is an insurance plan 
Against hiking prices on the flimsiest whim
Making fuel too expensive to fill to the brim.'

My debit card bilked at payment approved
Being duped, milked and heinously abused
I fled fellow victims facing avaricious pump
Cursing the name of Donald Bloody Trump 

The orange bloviator, king of uncouth, whose
Imbecilic folly closed the 'Straits of Vermouth'
Lies to the world while gurning like a ghoul
As we all pay ransom for our tank full of fuel

So let's look forward to the coming mid-terms
When voters reject this corrupt can of worms
A revulsion of Trump and his gang will prevail 
Indicting them speedily into Fulton County Jail 

Yippee!

Audio file: https://1drv.ms/u/c/4db44a4d6b88c854/IQDQnIwVs9fBSam7CwQhI1Y7AYK6f6i3hdY...

Image free to use by Dola

 

 

Certificate 12
Poem
Rant

Comments

Submitted by insertponceyfre... on

Count yourself lucky you don't rely on heating oil!

 

Submitted by Makis on

My daughter relies on it in Devon and we have been staggered by the price increases. They tell her its a kerosene based product like jet fuel and is therefore subject to aviation fuel market pressures, hence the price hike. Yea right! 'the prices are lofty due to shady cartel.' and six airlines going bust this week alone apparently.

 

Submitted by Starfish Girl on

Well put and funny, but with serious undertones. Enjoyed

Submitted by Makis on

Thank you starfish, I'm pleased you enjoyed it.

 

Submitted by celticman on

fun will begin when motorists can't get fuel at any price. 

 

Submitted by Makis on

The slightest whiff of shortages and there will be fisticuffs on the forecourt. 

 

Submitted by GlosKat on

Like there was during Covid.

I read JG Ballard's novel High Rise in the 70's and it's all too credible how quickly what we call 'civilization' would break down. 

 

Submitted by GlosKat on

They'll have to get the Strait of Hormuz opened up soon to get those tankers carrying Pete Hegseth's hair oil through.

 

Submitted by Makis on

No finer bunch of idiots was ever assembled to lead a nation than the current US administration. Trump and Vance had no idea where it was and their Treasury man refers to it as the Strait of Vermouth. Between them they've created the most awful mess which will now prove to be one of the most embarrassing international gaffs in the history of conflict. And while the entire world will suffer the consequences, Trump plays golf, grins like the Cheshire Cat and imposes new tariffs on NATO members for not getting involved. You couldn't make it up!