At the Going Down of The Sun

At the Going Down of the Sun

I looked back at a crowded celluloid,
I was a nameless actor just for a few moments,
my life unfolded as I looked on,
back at all those good times and bad.

How could I forget the sensitivities of my times?
so many occasions when I'd taken things to heart,
I never did learn,
I never did take my own, subconscious advice.

I wanted to, I wanted to all the time,
it just wasn't in me not to care,
and so I was always doomed,
to care but never really show it.

Most people never actually understood,
most people never really tried,
I had to develop this thicker hide,
I had to look out for myself.

And so I always looked sheepish and naive,
I always looked like I lacked passion,
of course, the inner rage, raged,
a throwback to my lousy childhood.

I only ever wanted to listen to music,
I only ever wanted to live on a mountain,
surrounded by fields and trees and rivers,
devoid of human souls except my own.

They say we're gregarious, they say we need others,
I can refute that if anyone is listening,
but why should you when it's my life?
there's nobody at the end, nobody but me.

That's the crux you see,
It's just about you and me,
maybe me then as it turns out,
you can only face the dusk on your own.

And when the reel finally runs out,
and you look back for one last time,
try not to lament for anyone but you,
that's all you'll have time for.

Image free to use via WikiCommons at https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:SunsetHikkaduwa-April2012.JPG

Attribution: Rehman Abubakr