Kylie Internet Dating

In an interview recently Kylie Minogue said that although she would like to meet someone new she had ruled out internet dating. This is a poem about Kylie Minogue internet dating.

But what if it's not really Kylie? I worry 
hovering my mouse over her picture 
a press shot of her in the I Should Be So Lucky days. 

Her profile says Popstar. Australian. 
Used to be Charlene in Neighbours. 
It seems pretty conclusive. 
Good sense of humour. 
Likes bowling. 

I think about messaging her 
"Hi Kylie. I'm John from Norwich. 
Well I'm not from Norwich but it's where I went to uni 
and I still live here now. Are you having a nice Tuesday? 
Maybe we should meet for a drink?" 
but why would she reply? She could probably get someone Italian. 

And I know I'd keep checking all day 
"Kylie hasn't replied. 
Not even the person pretending to be Kylie has replied. 
Ideally it would be Kylie. 
But either way they haven't replied. 

Maybe I should see who else is online 
but I've sort of set my heart on Kylie now. 
It would be disappointing if I didn't end up with Kylie. 

Maybe I won't bother getting in touch. 
There's probably other people on this dating website 
who would like to go out with Kylie. 
And anyway I'm not sure I ever liked her that much 
not even in her Spinning Around hotpants days 
or in her Ramsay Street dungarees 
I was always more of a Toni Braxton fan 
although my friends would be impressed 
and my family would really like her 
and ultimately you need to take these things into consideration 
and I probably would end up liking her loads 

and even though I know she probably wouldn't look at my profile 
she might think fair enough I'll give him a chance 
I've never been to Norwich 
who knows what might happen. 
We all so familiar with the baffling, incomprehensible confusion 
of falling in love. 

It's not that I'm desperate to end up with Kylie Minogue 
and it's not like I think even if we did meet up we'd end up getting married 
you can't look at every profile and think of the kayleigh at your wedding 
all your loved ones with their arms interlocked, whooping 
but sometimes you need to stop thinking 'this will break my heart 
and take a chance that maybe you will meet Kylie.'