DREAMS I HAVE HAD
while in a strange city i visit an establishment called "fly 'er in" which is a combination diner / horizontal bungee jump ride
i see a dog sliced open with dry dog food pouring from the wound. i feed it back to him
i visit a museum dedicated to pirates, ghosts and glass fishes. they have a "spend time with a ghost" room. i also see the first nineteen cent bowl of cereal. the bowl is shaped like a fish.
i am in the future playing with a tiny animal robot device that will bite you if you don't tear it's head off
i am at disneyland drinking tequila and coloring fish for prizes
i am doing an IQ test. i am stumped by the question "if this is the mainland, what is the size of the island ?"
i see a friend who recently died and she is complaining that her watch seems to have stopped
i am at my daughter's wedding. a woman walks up to me and announces she is my mother. she gives me a musical stuffed cat. touching different parts makes different noises. when i touch the head it begins singing very loudly. i miss the vows.
i am at a grateful dead show. the only power available is from the taco salad being served in the restroom
i get on the teacup ride at disneyland and its goes straight up
i am shooting baskets to win ice cream
i am at the beach. i am telling a man that a sea monster didn't try to kill his daughter but instead saved her from drowning
my friend shows up in a blue go cart with a huge ice cream cone mounted on the back
i walk across a path of sandwiches and see a grave filled with balloons
a lion licks my hand
a bearded guy steals a toy skeleton
i buy a 1932 TV guide that has nude pictures in it
i am at a party where i see babies sleeping in a bathtub
disneyland has been reduced to a flooded parking lot with a plum punch stand. frisbees are available
i am listening to a song called "she took the condoms to the white house"
i am drinking a bottle of wine with six pears in it
lucille ball and i look for a rare baseball card
i see a train that is part dinosaur skeleton
a friend tells me she is expecting a baby but wants the embryo inserted into a bear uterus because its safer that way
i win a contest and get to deliver milk with david cassidy and a bunch of teenage girls
a day after surgery my wife decides to move a pool table single handedly
red haired cop takes me to his home and shows me santa claus figurines
i watch a filming of dennis the menace and flirt with mrs. wilson
i get a job driving trucks that run on milk
i am on an airplane with a device that makes it seem like you're flying like superman
a ride in an amusement park that simulates near drowning
lifeguard pulls man from pool with bullet hole in head
i am being pulled to a funeral by a tow truck
i am watching a balloon race where the contestants have five arms
i go to a theater and end up winning a puppy in a contest
i'm in a parking lot in a wheelchair but there is nothing wrong with me. someone gives me enchiladas
i am at magic mountain with frank sinatra. he doesn't like the figurines made of him there. he poses for a new one.
i see a skinny mexican in a casket wearing a sash of red flowers
i find out my real father is a black barber
i am on a baseball team called the "santa clauses". we have santa claus suits and play against a team of crippled bar patrons.
i see a building shaped like mount rushmore is erected in los angles and they add truman
i have a pair of sunglasses where it appears the sun is going down over the ocean
jerry mathers impersonates a parrot
i am at a camp where cats are swimming and eating oranges
i see honeymooners at disneyland with cockroaches crawling on them
a turtle gives birth to a turtle faced child
i am working at a bakery that makes pastries that resemble cartoon characters
i find out my neighbor is frankenstein's monster but i keep him at bay by acting retarded
i think i have been at a theater watching a movie but find i have only been looking into a cracked mirror
i watch a game where children hold flowers in their hand and people try to dislodge them with streams of water
a speedboat hits a ferry. i go out to help but the water is only knee high
a guy named chester asks me to make sure his ashes are thrown into a waterfall, along with veal, after he dies
i go to the movies with beaver cleaver and lary mondello. godzilla tears the roof off the theater
a friend and i go to a cary grant movie. the projectionist just shows the last seconds of the movie. then a dance contest ensues. the winner is a woman dressed as a pig.
i hold a female midget up into the air so she can watch her husband graduate
my cat is painting flower pictures using her paw prints to make petals
a woman with a large Y shaped incision tells me she has no bones
someone throws a jiminy cricket doll at me
i help woody allen and a large black man move a refrigerator
a guy brags that he has had the rose parade re-routed so it goes past his house
i see two elvises on the way to a taping of "the beverly hillbillies"
i go to a kindergarten class and teach them the "hot soup" song. the teacher then announces we will be switching from things that stick to your ribs to things that bruise your ribs and teaches us the "buckle me" song which is about being hit with belts. a large birdcage descends to shelter us.
i meet anthony quinn at a drive in theater and tell him i admire his work as sheriff andy taylor
a kid dressed with a pumpkin head stands next to a church wall blending in and then jumps out to scare people. then he tells them to accept jesus because you never know when you could die of a heart attack.
firefighters describe their life saving techniques to the tune of bob dylan songs
i make an amplifier for jimi hendrix which he uses once at a little league game
i am chewing green gum. a woman gives me red sprinkles to put on it. this turns the gum pink and i fashion new lips from it.
i marry meryl streep's sister
my sister send me a cigar box full of batteries
a woman in a store window is showing passerby how to augment your breast size by stuffing lucky charms cereal in one's bra.
i see santa claus in a cemetery. he is naked and has a hand where his penis should be
i am in boston watching cartoons projected in the sky
i am in a buster keaton movie. it concerns a revolving house
i am at the airport looking for a box for some 78 rpm records. there is a cache of spencer tracy memorabilia found discarded. someone says "no one should treat spencer tracy that way.
darth vader is trying to levitate me with a beam of light
a woman with a teddy bear slides down furniture in a laboratory
i am in a car being driven by a cartoon chauffeur
mice play piano by running across the keys in boogie woogie fashion
i see a demonstration of water explosions with a substance added that makes the explosions freeze into sculptures
santa claus stows away on a pirate ship and slims down and wears a red and white shirt to disguise himself
my wife wins 3000 dollars on a talking slot machine
my friend asks me to guess what his car runs on. i say "baked beans". he says "right"
i am at an astronaut family workshop. a teenage girl admits to her father she masturbates while he is away on space missions
my wife's purse is stolen by a fox and brought back by a dog
a guy with a beard is riding a motorized mattress with minnesota plates
i am at the funeral of a friend who died. i see her at the funeral watching the proceedings. she tells me, " at least i have clean underwear for the trip "
i am skateboarding while drinking an orange cocktail with three beetles in it
a woman walks up to me with a plate with a fish on it. the fish has fork holes in it. she says her waiter brought it to her still thrashing and she had to kill it. she also has a cooked pig with her. she wants me to stick a fork in it's skull to make sure it is dead. i accommodate her.
i meet a hummingbird the size of a turkey. his name is robert
a man asks me to kill four ducks with a gun that shoots poison tacks. he warns me not to kill the big one though because he is saving that one for his wedding.
i am an egg salesman. six for a dollar
i am a secret agent captured by the enemy. my secret mission involves a kitten and a mysterious glass of water
i am feeding a horse a banana while swimming
a slot machine tells me i will win $ 168, 000 if i can find a wagon and paint it red, i do
a woman tries to sell me a TV guide for sixty dollars
i am throwing meat into the statue of liberty's mouth