Bird Down

Cherry

By Richard L. Provencher

Wed, 31 Oct 2012
  • 1424 reads
7 comments
 

When a bird falls from
its nest
there is sorrow
in the land

crows gawky
chickadees flirt with worry
and mourning doves
join in with
lamenting vibrations --

all is still
the missing baby bird
at rest

will not join others
in flight
where the sky is open
without barriers
only a wild delight.

© Richard L. Provencher

Certificate U
Poem
POETRY - A Passage of Motion 3
Nature

Comments

Submitted by maggyvaneijk on
Stunning imagery, the endless sky in your piece makes me want to take flight myself!

 

Submitted by Richard L. Prov... on
Thank you so much Maggy. The cherries are yummy, thank you ABCTeam. PS. Maggy--should I replace the "lament" after crows? since I do say 'lamenting' at the end. Richard
Richard L. Provencher

Submitted by ItsSteveDave on
Love the doves' calls as 'lamenting vibrations', Richard.

Submitted by Richard L. Prov... on
Thanks so much, for your ind comment, Steve. Same question for you---should I replace the first 'lament' but then the ABCTeam though it ok. Richard
Richard L. Provencher

Submitted by ItsSteveDave on
It is great as it is Richard, but I can reconcile a dove's call with the softer sounding word 'lament[ing]' better than I can with a harsher, louder crows call, so I'd say yes.

Submitted by Richard L. Prov... on
Hello Steve---do you think 'crows grieve' is a good fit? Cheers. Richard
Richard L. Provencher

Submitted by ItsSteveDave on
Hi Richard, yes, I think that's a fine choice - it further cements the poem's deservedness of its cherry!