Another Short Zombie Story

Another Zombie Story

By Shane Scott

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     The zombie drove a zamboni.  He didn’t do it very well.  The dead man zoomed around in a zigzag pattern.  His work ethic amounted to zero.

     In another, as yet completely but not totally unrelated situation, the researchers at the International Wind Tunnel (IWT) noticed data from the most recent test data seemed flawed.

     After powering down the wind tunnel to a small gale, the whitecoat researchers sent two undergrad students to check the back of the large wind turbines. 

     Being young undergrads they finished their inspection quickly. Once done they began to horse around.  They both unhooked their safety tethers and filmed being stupid on their phones.  They knew they had a chance to upload the next viral video.

     Zoe pretended to push Zane. Zane told Zoe “You little shit” and pretended to push her.  Zoe slipped and without a safety tether, at that exact moment, the little shit hit the fan.

     Zoe went out the exhaust chute in a thousand million small pieces.  Considering everything that happened over the next several weeks, it wasn’t a bad way to go.

     And finally, in a third completely related situation, the order came unexpectedly.  “Eject. Eject. Eject.”

     Complicated signals were sent through complicated pathways. Time became the enemy and no thought was given to consequences.  The command required immediate action.

     Two were ejected into the hundreds of miles per hour slip stream.  Booger followed Snot.

     Zach continued to walk through the airport sneezing.  He spread Z virus to everyone.  He didn’t do it intentionally.  Zach actually felt great.  The only thing he noticed in the last few days involved his heartbeat slowing to less than ten beats per minute.

     Zach spent the time he wasn’t sneezing thinking about Zoe and how much fun they had going to the hockey game the previous night.  Zach only met Zoe a few weeks before but he knew she was the one for him. 

     The virus did not get its name from ‘Zombie’.  Researchers would name it the Z virus because it showed up on an interstellar meteor thought to come from the Zeta Reticuli star system.

     Z virus had a 98% infection rate.  Of those infected it had a 100% chance to sort of kill the host.  Kill them, yes, but they were not quite dead.

     Zach would become known as patient zero.  Until he escaped, the whitecoat researchers would keep him several time zones from where he started. 

     Zach escaped that sick zoo to find Zoe.  He didn’t know Zoe now existed in numerous parts smaller than a zucchini. 

     The most important part was the zygote Zoe carried.  It still survived.