He wants me to take him to the pool
He wants to swim neck deep, almost drowning, like a fool
He's told me I have to take him
and be his armbands while he has a swim
I'm more like a life-raft if the truth is known
for he can't swim this pool safely on his own
He goes straight for the deep end everytime
being a weak swimmer and without a line
I have to be there, watching over him hard
You see, I am his personal lifeguard
This pool of alcohol in which he nearly drowns
The one made up of so many rounds
I wish I could drain it once and for all
Instead of having to watch as he does the front crawl
Inevitably he runs out of steam
Slows down, starts to flounder, goes into a dream
and then in this pool he will just wallow
and although the end he is in will be shallow
I still have to wait there until he gets out
Waiting patiently with his towels, still I start to shout
'For God's sake aren't you ready yet?'
Then he climbs out slowly, dripping wet
'Yeah, I'm coming now, I'm ready to go'
and I think to myself 'how I put up with this I'll never know'