Breaking Up
By Silver Spun Sand
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HI Tina
HI Tina
Lovely emotive poem. The poor child - not knowing what to think or do to help with such big problems. But having a swing in the fresh air and bright sun helps most of us feel better when things get hard.
Jean
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A lot lightly drawn here,
A lot lightly drawn here, Tina. I felt the refreshing wind in my face and hair 'flying' on the swing, somehow really getting away from everything.
Line 4 there seems to be a stray 'j'?
Rhiannon
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You have the knack of writing
You have the knack of writing about tragedies in your life without being mawkish.
Your choice of words and phrasing are very good.
'like a beacon at sea warning of rocks ahead' so descriptive, as is the last sentence.
Lindy
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I agree with Lindy, one can
I agree with Lindy, one can sense the distress but the point is not laboured. It must be horrible to watch one parent slipping away from you and then to witness the effect it was having on the other parent. A very distressing situation for a child to have to deal with.
Moya
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