Heptadecatonic

By Sooz006

Thu, 08 Jun 2017
  • 1433 reads
7 comments
 
Heptadecatonic

She is my perfect tonic
For cold days
For grey days
For lost upon the way days
With fun times
And loose rhymes
With lift her skirts to dance lines
And kiss me
And calm me
And make me find a new me
That was true
And once knew
Exactly what I should do
Hold tight
With touch light
To kiss her gently
Goodnight 

Certificate U
Poem
Sooz Inane Ramblings
Romance

Comments

Submitted by Sooz006 on

Hi guys, this isn't my piece, it's written by a friend of mine who would like some feedback please. Cheers chaps. 

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

it has a great rhythm to it sooz, and would sound even better I imagine. Tell the author to open an account - I'd definitely like to read more! 

 

Submitted by Sooz006 on

The person who wrote this is not a writer, but he has a book in him and he's thinking of giving it a go. I suggested some short stuff first to get into the swing of it.  I did ask him to open an account and write in his own right, maybe he will now. Ta Insert. 

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

tell him no cherries until he has an account of his own! - and direct him to the inspiration point

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

A melody played out in my head as I read this poem, I could definetly hear a tune to these words.

Nice one.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by Sooz006 on

Thanks Jenny, He'll be chuffed. 

 

Submitted by celticman on

poetry isn't my thing, it seems melodic, more of a song.