The Greedy Cat and the Goblins

There was once a cheese maker of old Amsterdam who was constantly troubled by mice.

They were always getting into his store cupboard and nibbling at his best cheeses and no matter what he tried he just couldn’t get rid of them.

Then one day he met a man who was selling his cat and the man assured him,

“There is no better cat in all the world for getting rid of mice”.

And so the cheese maker bought the cat hoping that, finally, his mouse troubles would be solved

and put the cat to work immediately guarding his store cupboard.

 

The next morning, however, to his amazement, when he went to check on the cat, he saw it lying in a corner of the store cupboard looking very sick and very bloated with cheese smeared all over its furry lips and then, to his horror, he also saw that all his cheese was gone; the cat had eaten it all.

 

Now very angry, he picked up the cat by the tail and carried it back to the man who had sold it to him.

 

“Your cat has eaten up all of my cheese”, he yelled, his face red as a fire engine, “There’s not a crumb of it left”.

 

But the other man was unapologetic.

 

“I didn’t say it wouldn’t”, he replied with a grin, “All I said was that there was no better cat in the world for getting rid of mice… and now that there is no cheese left is there a mouse left in your store cupboard?”.

 

The Cheese maker wasn’t amused; he demanded that the man take the cat back and pay him for the cheeses eaten by the cat and when he wouldn’t the cheese maker thumped him in the nose.

 

But the cheesemaker was still left with the cat and so he decided to try and sell him to a merchant that he knew.

 

The merchant had been plagued by terrible bad luck, you see. Every ship that he sent out carrying his cargo would sink, in fact he only had one ship left and he'd lost so much money that he desperately needed this ship to deliver its cargo to save his business from ruin.

 

And so the cheesemaker said to him,

 

“Well you know that cats are very lucky”.

 

“They are?”, asked the merchant.

 

“Why, yes”, said the cheesemaker, “They can see the hobgoblins that drill holes in the bottom of a ship and cause it to sink you see and they chase the goblins away just like mice”.

 

“Well then”, said the merchant, “I’ll be happy to buy your cat from you and if he’s as lucky as you say then I’ll feed him upon the finest fish and pheasant and treat him like a prince”.

 

Of course the cheesemaker had made it all up but he was happy to be rid of the cat and the next day, the merchant set sail upon his last trading vessel filled with precious cargo for the shores of Japan and in the hold he put the cat, telling it to keep a sharp eye out in case it should see any hobgoblins.

 

“And as I told your old master, the cheesemaker”, said the merchant, “If you do a good job then you shall have fine fish and pheasant and live like a prince”.

 

But then came the night; a bright full moon filled the sky and the cat, that had been sleeping, was suddenly woken by a peculiar scratching sound.

 

And, pricking up its ears, the cat thought it heard voices, almost like men’s voices, whispering and chuckling mischievously.

 

“We are a vile hobgoblin gang”, he heard one of them say, “To make mischief, we roam. We’ll sink this ship and make it slip beneath the sea and foam”.

 

Now the cat was not a brave cat and so, instead of facing the hobgoblins, it found a partly open crate and hid itself inside it and fortunately, discovered that the crate was filled with cheese.

 

“Oh what good luck”, thought the cat digging into his favourite food, “At least I will not go hungry”.

 

But the cat ate so much cheese that it started to feel very sick and the sickness was made even worse by the rocking of the ship and so, slipping out of the crate, it decided to go and get some fresh air on the deck above.

 

But then, just as it was leaving the crate, suddenly it ran into the gang of hobgoblins.

 

“Well, what have we here”, said the leader of the goblin gang, a black pirate eyepatch upon its right eye and a scar upon the cheek of its green scaly face, seeing the cat, “A feline snooper sent to spy on us, no doubt. We’ll show you what we do with spys”.

 

Then, surrounding him, the hobgoblin gang drew tiny daggers from their belts and began to close in upon the cat.

 

Of course the cat was terrified,

 

“No, no!”, it cried, covering its eyes with its paws, “Don’t hurt me please”.

 

But just then the cat did something which it had a bad habit of doing whenever it got frightened, it broke wind very loudly.

 

“Oh what is that terrible smell”, it heard the leader of the hobgoblins say, “Like rotten fishguts and old socks and all the worst things I ever smelled”.

 

“Let me out”, said another, “I need air”.

 

And then uncovering its eyes, the cat saw the hobgoblins running away, desperately trying to escape the hold of the ship; it saw them all disappear like ghosts through the ships wooden hull and heard them splash into the sea.

 

And the hobgoblins never came back after that, in fact the merchants ship made it all the way to Japan and the merchant was so happy with the cat that, just as he had promised, he fed it upon fish and pheasant and treated it like a prince which made the cat very happy indeed.