Wonder Witch 6 - It's a Wonder - Witch - iful Life!

If there was one thing that Marjorie Morrison really loved about being Wonder Witch, it was the simple pleasure of flying on her broomstick over the skyline of midtown Manhattan at night and looking down on the city all lit up like a city made of stars; the Chrysler building with its beautiful art deco spire that reminded her of a Balinese headdress and the Hearst tower like a glowing magic crystal.

“Never mind my magical powers”, she thought, dreamily circling the roof of the Waldorf Astoria one warm summer night; imagining the golden, olden days when the rich and famous would hold parties in the Starlight room, “The beauty and majesty that can be found in life, that’s true magic”.

But then, atop the Empire State Building, she thought she saw the silhouette of a person and, flying closer, she realized that it was a man, staring down into the busy traffic a thousand feet below and, if her highly attuned sixth sense was to be trusted, contemplating suicide.

“Don’t do it, Sir”, she said, bringing her broom to land within the high fence that surrounded the observation deck at the top of the famous skyscraper, “Things often look worse than they really are. Think about all the beautiful things that you’d be giving up if you jumped”.

But the man didn’t want to listen, “Go away Wonder Witch”, he said angrily, sobbing, “You can’t solve every problem. I’ve lost my job and my wife has left me and taken our kids with her. You can’t bring them back”.

“No, I can’t sir”, replied Wonder Witch determinedly, “But I don’t worry about the things I can’t do. I try to do whatever I can do and to the best of my abilities to make the world a little happier. Your life is an opportunity, sir; an opportunity to be part of the goodness of life rather than part of the misery”.

However, just at that moment, the miniature crystal ball around Wonder Witch’s wrist started to flash on and off and, looking in it, she saw the faces of crowds of screaming terrified people that seemed to be running away from a towering, terrifying thing.

“I’m afraid you’ve put me in something of a moral dilemma, sir”, she said to the man weeping over the edge of the skyscraper, “Right now there are hundreds of people whose lives may be lost if I don’t save them and I really haven’t got time to waste trying to talk you out of jumping”.

“Then go and save them”, said the man, “Forget about me. My life isn’t very important. No one’s going to miss me if I’m gone”.

But letting the jumper jump to his doom really wasn’t an option, not to kind hearted Marjorie.

“No sir. I have a much better idea”, she said, smiling, “I think you should come along with me. You might change your mind about ending your own life if you help to save the lives of others”.

So then, zapping him with a jagged edged beam of pink light from that same crystal ball upon her wrist, she transformed the weeping man into a cat with jet black velvet fur and sapphire blue eyes.

“Mi-aow!”, said the startled man, twisting his body round to look at his smooth black fur, his four little cat paws and his long tail, “Why’d you turn me into a cat?”.

“Just in case you’ve got any silly ideas about throwing yourself off of my broom”, replied Wonder Witch, picking up the cat and sitting it upon the end of her broomstick, “They say that Cats always land upon their feet”.

Once he was flying through the air at forty miles an hour, however, on the back of Wonder Witch’s magic flying broom; jumping was the last thing he felt like doing; in fact, it took him all the strength in his tiny cat limbs just to hold on, not to mention that he started feeling a little airsick.

“Uggh!”, he groaned, clutching a furry stomach, “I know I look like a cat but I feel as sick as a parrot”.

“Don’t worry”, said Wonder Witch, chuckling as she conjured up a kitty sized sick bag and handed it back to him, “I think we’re almost there”.

But, just then, through his new, blue cat’s eyes; the man saw something that made him forget all about his nausea; in fact, something which made him let out a feline shriek, his hackles stand up and his whole body shake with terror.

For, towering over the East river; taller than any skyscraper man has ever built, its boulder sized kneecaps capsizing sailing boats as it lumbered, thunderously in the direction of lower Manhattan, Wonder Witch and her furry, pointy eared passenger saw a gargantuan, scaly skinned, six-armed, one eyed, sabre-toothed and spandex-suited monster and it looked to be in a foul mood.

“Run! Hide! Cower in terror, puny humans”, bellowed the giant in a voice like the boom of an H-Bomb, “Before the power of the malevolent, mutating Monster Man”.

Then, letting out an ear- shattering roar that could be heard across all of Manhattan and most of New York city; the head of the titan suddenly sprouted long writhing and wriggling, sucker covered tentacles like the scaly, hissing serpentine locks of a gorgon.

“You can let me off now, Wonder Witch!”, said the cat, shaking and biting its claws as if they were fingernails, “I’ve changed my mind. I really want to live”.

“You’re no lion, that’s for sure”, said Wonder Witch, laughing.

But then one of the creatures enormous head tentacles reached out towards Wonder Witch’s broom; the end of the tentacle quickly mutating, like a thing more of living play-dough than of flesh, into an enormous human hand with fingers and a thumb that grabbed tightly hold of broom, rider and feline passenger and, to its horror, the cat then saw the train tunnel sized mouth of the malevolent, Monster Man open as if ready to devour them.

But the man or, rather, the cat who had been quaking like a terrified mouse, now took Wonder Witch’s lion comment to heart.

“You’re right”, he said, snarling and hissing and clawing at one of the gigantic fingers of the titan as its hand carried them like the claw of some sort of mechanical digger towards the black, bottomless pit of its gaping, ginormous jaws, “If I was ready to die like a coward, jumping off the Empire State Building, why shouldn’t I be prepared to die bravely for something really important”.

And then, saying this, the black cat bravely hurled itself onto the mountainous nose of the monster; clinging onto it by its long cat claws.

“No!”, yelled the gargantuan Monster Man; it’s one vast eye widening as it noticed the tiny creature determinedly scaling the north side of its face, its hungry gape now becoming a frightened gasp, “Not a cat! I am allergic to cats!”.

“Hmm?”, thought Wonder Witch, hearing the monstrous creatures confession, “In that case. Perhaps my feline friend doesn’t have to risk his life after all, not when I can magic up some artificial cat allergens that should do the trick just as well”.

And, reaching into the magical golden utility belt that she always wore strapped around her waist, she pulled out her witch’s wand then, aiming it at the creature’s deep, dark, canyon like maw blasted it with a bright pink magical bolt of lightning that conjured up, completely out of thin air, a large, dense, yellow cloud of toxic cat allergens .

Immediately, the creature let out a thunderous, gigantic sneeze that, with the force of an exploding geyser, blew both Wonder Witch and her cat companion right across the East River.

Fortunately, Wonder Witch; being an experienced broomstick pilot, always remembered to wear a magical parachute and, once she had managed to snatch hold of the cat in mid-air, they both floated gently and safely down towards the river waters while, humiliated by his defeat, the malevolent, mutating Monster Man sprouted a giant pair of leathery, pterodactyl like wings from its hairy, hunched back before flapping hastily away in the direction of some secret, but no doubt enormous, hideout.

“Wow-ee!”, said the Cat, its sapphire blue eyes flashing brightly with excitement as they bobbed up and down in the river, “What a rush! What a thrill ride! To think I wanted to throw it all away but you saved my life Wonder Witch - or perhaps that should be lives, they do say that cats have nine lives”.

But, just then, Wonder Witch’s feline transformation spell started to wear off and, suddenly, instead of a cat splashing around in front of her there was a middle aged man in a suit and tie.

“We humans only have one life, sadly, Sir”, said Marjorie, smiling, “But we should all probably try to make the best of it, while we can”.