Cherrypicked stories
Funeral Poem
My last will and testament ... with added nob gags
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- 1648 reads
It's Mimms O'Clock
South Mimm's Service Station gets a bit of a bashing.
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- 1398 reads
The Devils
Shrewd old crow Was Ma Haggerty. What she didn’t know about Sexual virtuosity you could’ve scrawled On the inverse of a clitoris With a wedge-nibbed marker.
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- 1495 reads
Getting In Touch
With your inner gibbon; Come on, chaps! Bruce knocks Down the flipchart and Lickety-split he’s Scramble-loping through the hall That links Deaths to Home Eek-acking some Congo call
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- 1493 reads
Human Recall Notice
The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.
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- 1733 reads
Must we share another error
Must we share another error Maybe it's the knife left lying on the lino, the car boot which wouldn't quite close, the tattooist repeat carving, 'Keith Keith'
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- 1223 reads
Holy Temple
standing tall over decades, looming over the surrounding countryside, this is how its always been. The steps up to the old oak door, covered by creeping moss.
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- 1173 reads
On Wensum Bridge
fourteen men all saying “cheese.”
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- 1804 reads
Insurgency
He rode on the roof-rack flinging rocks at road signs: Take this Darlington! Up yours Chipping Sodbury! Always a slow overarm stroke Like a spin bowler –
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- 1413 reads
Flint
Near the end, good god man, Nearly all and sundry went feeding The last lazy licks of the flame; Newspapers, napkins, Failed poems crossed out then torn From their bindings;
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- 1461 reads
He explained why he would never buy her flowers
Instead of maintaining your mother’s grave we’ll set up a trust fund for Malawi orphans.
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- 1453 reads
Disgrace
Disgrace I’ve checked the lists of all the things we did, scan read the five year plan for missed ticks or unaccounted columns. I have to say the best shitty bit
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- 1192 reads
Bibliophile
Bibliophile In the glow of the book room I hold my penumbra steady. When I sleep it slips my stop fastenings and performs calligraphy caterwauls in the filigree.
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- 1290 reads
Survivors
...the car had become their temporary home - not as plush as The Queens Hotel, a few blocks away, but safer...
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- 1570 reads
Disgrace
She peeks over her spectacles Like a vexed librarian But this is no library And I am no inconsiderate reader. She does not vocalise her complaint But I assume it is something to do
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- 1363 reads
Racing game
I’ve been playing japs online into the wee hours; they are insanely good. Most of the time they lap me. I love to see them go past, power-drifting round the hair pin.
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- 1087 reads
Issue
Issue We have to do it this way he says putting his issue in my mouth, he finger picks out stain pebbles from the inside of my cheek. We line them up on the coffee table,
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- 1000 reads
You’ll get lost if you keep that shirt on
You’ll get lost if you keep that shirt on You’ll get lost if you keep that shirt on your face will fold like a fist in a cleavage, your breath will scatter like ash off an edge.
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- 1004 reads