A West Country Poem

Old Mrs Spence had got no sense, she hung her washing on a barbed wire fence. She say's she don't own a washing line, that er fence will do just fine. When we see's er children, we turn are heads, cause all their clothes are torn to shreds. Then there's this guy, his name is Sly he do wear a patch over one eye. He thinks he's a pirate and acts like a tyrant. He's okay when he's sober, but when he get's drunk, I don't think he baths cause he smells like a skunk. To top it all off, I got propositioned by Goff, he comes up to me and say's, "hey can't you see that your the women for me?" I say's, "you get lost I'm a lesbian of course. He say's, "no way, I've known you for years, you used to go out with Charlie Sears." I say, "that was then and this is now. He say's, "Oh shut up I'll see you at three in the "RED BULL AND COW." Now along comes Enit Heart, "Oh my god she's a nosy tart." "What did I hear a pub mentioned?" She shouts with glee! "Yes" I said Goff will see you at three. "Now I'me off fer me tea. So leave me alone, I'me going with me girl friend Lorna down the "DOG AND BONE."