A Sense Of Purpose

Cherry

By Edenfalls

Thu, 12 Jan 2012
  • 5566 reads
23 comments
 

Staring hard, I try to find
A sense of purpose in my mind

Although I see a darker me
I close my eyes but still can't see

What shall I do, what is my plan?
Can I become a better man?

How will this work, what is my choice?
Perhaps I'll find a stronger voice.

Stand up, be counted, act real tough
But someone somewhere might call my bluff

So what to do, it's killing me
Borrow money, pay the fee?

The price is high can I afford
To go to Church and praise the lord?

Seek redemption, forgive me please
Get down on my bended knees?

But God can't help, what can he do
Afraid old mate, it's up to you

So i'll go on from day to day
Hoping it will go away

But till then I'll just sit here
Staring at my one last beer!

Certificate U
Poem
Poetry For Everyone
Other Fiction

Comments

Submitted by jolono on
I like this Edenfalls. Read it a couple of times and i think lots of people will get something out of it..

 

Submitted by Edenfalls on
Jolono, I'm glad you got it! I was hoping that it might mean different things to different people thats why I wasn't specific about the subject.

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Hi there, Edenfalls, I have been looking at some more of your posts, and I must admit I like your 'voice'. I enjoyed this latest poem too, and agree it could mean many things to many people. Shall look forward to reading more, and in the meantime, keep writing and, most importantly, keep enjoying;-) Tina

 

Submitted by Edenfalls on
Thank you Tina thats very kind. I'm very new to poetry and hoping that this site will help imrove my writing.

Submitted by Rhiannonw on
"The price is high can I afford To go to Church and praise the lord? … … But God can't help, what can he do Afraid old mate, it's up to you" but the only price required is the willingness to accept, isn't it? The whole point of redemption is that he paid the price (Calvary), and can change me (gradually) if I'm willing. You have written out your musings very well though! Rh

 

Submitted by Edenfalls on
Thank you Rh, he was weak in thinking that he only had to go to Church, seek foregiveness and it would be ok. But then realises that its really only him that can change things. Thanks very much for reading and giving me your thoughts. It really is appreciated.

Submitted by well-wisher on
There's also people working together; helping each other. I can't believe in any god that expects everyone to fend for themselves all the time. It isn't only up to ME; it's up to US, like The Beatles, "With a little help from my friends". A good poem Edenfalls but, like many of the poems I read on ABCtales, quite dark and depressing. I wish more ABCtalers would cheer up.

Oh look, a link. I wonder where it leads.

JoHn

Submitted by Edenfalls on
Well-wisher, thanks for reading and commenting. I understand what you mean, my next attempt will be something we can laugh at. But in the context of the poem I was trying to point out that it's no use just sitting around waiting for things to happen. You've got to make them happen!

Submitted by well-wisher on
I understand, Edenfalls. I think its well observed and a good piece of writing that a lot of people will relate to. But, just thinking about Jesus. He may have suffered scourge and crucifixion alone but its his apostles and their followers that built his church. Even Jesus needed a little help.

Oh look, a link. I wonder where it leads.

JoHn

Submitted by Rhiannonw on
sorry, don't know if it's my place to just add, seeing well-wisher's comment, that I'm sure the followers needed, had, and realised they had, his help in doing what they had to do! but of course, they had to get on with it! — with his help! Rh

 

Submitted by Edenfalls on
Rh, be my guest. Unfortunately I'm not much of a believer.

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Just popped back to say well done on the more than deserved cherry;-)

 

Submitted by Edenfalls on
Tina, thank you very much.

Submitted by Cavalcader on
new Edenfalls hello! This is a good poem, like you mention can apply in many different ways! I was one of these, you mention so much in poem. And how many live's can be turned around,like prayer forgiveness,ask! down on one's knees. Quite a few years. Well deserved cherries! too. 'Cos I found out I'm a believer' song' But also wasn't once! julie x

Submitted by Cavalcader on
new well-wisher hi! do read some mine! Not because there good, but possibly make you laugh! as some have mentioned. And we don't always '"Get a little help from our friend's" or families, so good have a laugh! Love 'Carry on film' and 'Only fools and horses'. 'Morecombe and wise' good giggle takes tension away! Many things in life! Paper states watch two films a week, better than one a month? Must try! again. cavalcaderl julie x

Submitted by Edenfalls on
Thank you Julie, I'm still quite new to the site and still getting round to reading everything! I will make a bee line for your posts now.

Submitted by Parson Thru on
Hi Edenfalls. I like your style. Very clean. You are right - posting here and getting valuable feedback will (in my experience) develop you and show you different styles and influences. Look forward to reading more.

Parson Thru

Submitted by Edenfalls on
Thanks Parson Thru,thats exactly what I want to do.

Submitted by Denzella on
Hello Edenfalls, To paraphrase your words - you don't need to find a stronger voice. You already have one! I really liked this poem and thought it was cleverly thought out. Well done! Moya
 

Submitted by Edenfalls on
Thank you for those kind words.

Submitted by Sooz006 on
But God can't help, what can he do Afraid old mate, it's up to you... I like this. Another good one, well deserving of it's cherry. I liked the simple little messages in each two lines.

 

Submitted by Cavalcader on
new Edenfalls A lot of this poem,is so very true to life! Well deserved cherries! Yes,God paid for price! But will change lives,only if we work at it,change ourselves,to change many things. Enjoyed this. "Ask and you will recieve" no matter or when or how long. Thanks descriptions good. Keep writing. julie x

Submitted by Edenfalls on
Thank you Julie, hope you are well.