Hackney Pete and Billy the Nut

I’d always wondered where Hackney Pete got his money from. Thought for a long time that he was a fucking drug dealer, but then again he’d never offered me anything. Not that I’d have taken it, don’t do anything like that. Just the booze for me.

But then Bloody Steve let it slip the other day.

His Nan died a few years back and left him a nice big house in Colchester. He rents it out to students and earns a fortune every month. Bloody Steve recons he’s got about a dozen of the fuckers living there! All paying him about fifty quid a week, nice little income.

And he does gardens, Landscaping, he calls it. What a load of bollocks he just does a bit of weeding, lays a bit of turf, crazy paving, nothing special. I bet all in he’s got a grand a week coming in!

That’s why I thought it was about time we had a beer together, never know when these people might come in handy!

There he is over by the window.

“Allright mate, how’s it going?”

“Yeh, good thanks, what you having?”

“Pint of Yuri please”

Hackney Pete gets up to get him a beer. He returns a few minutes later with two pints of Stella.

“There you go me son, nice pint of Yuri Geller”

“Cheers Pete”

“So what you up to these days”

“Bit of this and that, done a couple of driving jobs last week for Transit Tom, Edinburgh and back then a Stoke On Trent. Paid well. All pound notes, you?”

“Landscapes going well, doing a job in Chigwell at the moment, ex footballers house, nice gaff”

“You still renting out the house in Colchester?”

Hackney Pete puts his beer down and looks up.

“Who the fuck told you about that?”

“Err you did mate, months ago, remember when we met up at Lankys card game, you got a bit pissed, you told me then!”

Shit that was close, he looked like he was gonna lump me then. Couldn’t say it was Bloody Steve or he’d go fucking mad!

“Me and my big mouth, trying to keep it quiet cos I’m supposed to pay tax on the income, but no fucking way’s that gonna happen so keep quiet about it yeh?”

“Yeh course mate, just between us two”

“Oi Billy, over here mate!”

Hackney Pete shouts out to a big guy who’s just walked in.

Holy shit it’s Billy the Nut. Called that cos he likes to nut people! I still owe him £250 quid from last year. I bet him that West ham wouldn’t go down and cos he’s a fucking Spurs fan he was sure they would. Bet him £250, that was 8 months ago. Been avoiding him ever since, Fuck!

“Billy me old mate, how are you. Been trying to get hold of you for months to give you that bit of dosh I owe you!”

“Yeh, good. When Pete said you were meeting up, I thought it would be a good chance to meet and have a square up, you got the dosh?”

“Yeh course, let me get you a pint then we’ll have a sort out”

He walks to the bar.

Fuck, I’ve got about £170 on me, got to pay Giant Tommy for the rent today, that’ll have to wait now.

He gets three pints and walks back to the table.
“There you go lads, drink up!”

Billy the Nut takes a long sup, almost half the drinks gone.

“So, you got it then?”

“Bill mate, I’ve got £160 on me, I’ll get you the rest tomorrow, Ok?”

“Not really, I need it today!”

Billy the Nut moves forward. Just as Hackney Pete interrupts.

“What about this, I’ll lend you the extra £90 you need to pay Billy, but you come to Chigwell with me tomorrow and do a full days graft. Bit of labouring. Start at 07.00. Deal?”

Billy the Nut sits back and smiles.

“Good with me”

“Terrific Pete, cheers mate”

Pete gives Billy £90.

“There you go Bill, £160”

Billy takes the money from both of them and puts it in his pocket.

“Ok guys, good to see you, Pete, see you at 07.00 in the morning”

“Ok. Don’t be fucking late!”

What a poxy day. I’m now £250 down, can’t pay me rent and got to do a full days graft for nothing for Hackney Pete.

Maybe I should call Bloody Steve he’s a soft touch!