Steam and Hot Air

Cherry

By luigi_pagano

Fri, 18 Jul 2014
  • 2692 reads
8 comments
 

Time was when you took the initiative
to keep the furnace well stocked up
and asked me to drive the locomotive.
We were able to build a head of steam
and get those pistons going in no time.
With each jolt you felt you would scream
not because of anxiety but exhilaration
at such a hazardous and bold enterprise,
your body being aquiver with vibrations.
We ensured the engine had plenty of oil
and we made sure not to go off the rails
yet knew the venture might go off the boil.
Eventually our journeys became fewer
as our engines succumbed to fatigue;
we needed body parts that were newer.
By that time electrification had prevailed
and steam was now no more than hot air,
so gradually our exploits were curtailed.
You now travel to different destinations;
I, having branched out from the main line,
am stuck in one of Beeching’s old stations.

© Luigi Pagano 2014

Certificate 15
Poem
Are you being versed?
Other Fiction
Miscellaneous

Comments

Submitted by Bee on

Luigi, this is brilliant! I absolutely loved it and chuckled delighted the whole way through. So clever - every word chosen with such care. You know I'm a fan, but for me, this is one of your best.

 

Bee

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Dear Bee, as I was writing this I was sure that it would make you smile. If only I could be so sure in choosing the winning lottery numbers! You are so good at reading between the lines and I appreciate your uplifting remarks. I too am a fan of your work which is always of the highest standard.

Kind regards, Luigi

 

Submitted by Mark Say on

Excellent Luigi. A really original idea to make a steam engine the metaphor for a relationship, and it all fits together very neatly. 

One observation: the closing reference to Beeching makes it even more effective for UK readers, but I fear those from overseas won't get it. That's not meant as a criticism, and it's well worth a cherry.

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Mark thank you. You made a valid point about the reference to Dr. Beeching. I tend to forget that the readership and authorship of ABC  goes beyond the UK. I should have put an explanatory note at the end of the poem. For those who wonder who he was and what he did here is an extract from Wikipedia to explain :

"Richard Beeching, Baron Beeching (21 April 1913 – 23 March 1985), commonly known as Dr Beeching, was chairman of British Railways and a physicist and engineer.
He became a household name in Britain in the early 1960s for his report
"The Reshaping of British Railways", commonly referred to as "The
Beeching Report", which led to far-reaching changes in the railway
network, popularly known as the Beeching Axe."

As a consequence many stations were closed and became redundant.

Best regards, Luigi

 

Submitted by VeraClark on

A charmingly intimate relationship history, Luigi via locomotive. There's a boldness here that leaves your reader smiling and surmising. 

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Thanks for your tactful comment, Vera. I agree that there is a certain amount of boldness in the message that the poem conveys but I hope that it is open to conjecture and not so explicit as to deter readers from appreciating the style in which it is couched.

Best, Luigi
 

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Hi Luigi,

this was a well crafted poem and I loved your use of words that could be read in different ways.

Skillfully done and enjoyed.

Jenny. xx

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Jenny, so glad you enjoyed this fanciful train ride. You are on the right lines in thinking that it is open to different interpretations. Your comments are very welcome. Thanks.

Luigi xx