It's all mathematics

By Parson Thru

Tue, 14 Feb 2017
  • 4557 reads
11 comments
 
It’s all mathematics
 
The rhythm of the womb
Surges of the inner-sea
The great song of the stars
 
Shadow structures glimpsed
on the cusp of sleep
 
Phantasmal travellers in
dream encounters
 
An image that fades
with each attempt
to render it in prose
 
A weight that lies
upon my days
and draws me into night
 
Relief comes
in strangers’ smiles
and recognition of one’s self
 
In truth
clinging, lichen-like
wherever human warmth can reach
with simple acts of kindness
 
From the rhythm of the womb
to the stillness of the tomb
 
Love will see us through
 
It’s all mathematics
Certificate U
Poem
Parson Thruses Dairy
Love

Comments

Submitted by celticman on

if like academics, we live in our head, and don't venture out instead, then, it's all mathematics. 

 

Submitted by Parson Thru on

No good, then.

Parson Thru

Submitted by Parson Thru on

Missed the point, entirely. It's all in there.

Relief comes
in strangers’ smiles
and recognition of one’s self

In truth
clinging, lichen-like
wherever human warmth can reach
with simple acts of kindness

Parson Thru

Submitted by Parson Thru on

I actually would welcome some constructive criticism. I do seem to be struggling to articulate something here. What I'm trying to say is that I fear that the world (our bit in this case) is becoming hardened and polarised, but that I believe and "know" that "good" is within us all even in such times and (contrary to celticman's observation), hope is in the way strangers treat each other and in those little acts of kindness. Looking inside, yes, but to each other, too. Seeing all of us, strangers included, inside ourselves. We're all in this together.

Anyway. Any advice on technique / style gratefully accepted.

Parson Thru

Submitted by well-wisher on

​I can't give you any advice but I hope that praise will do. Its a memorable, beautiful and poignant poem that addresses a feeling about modern life that I completely understand and share. Its why I hope ideas like faith and magic can survive the onslaught of overly dogmatic rational skepticism.

I really liked the structure of the poem because it reminded me of being half-awake/ half dreaming; the lines seeming like

"Shadow structures glimpsed
on the cusp of sleep".

I also like all the contrasts within the poem that I think work very well like "Surges of the inner sea" and "The great song of stars"  or "From the rhythm of the womb to the stillness of the tomb".

I don't know what else to say but, since it's all mathematics, I'll give this poem 11 out of 10.

Oh look, a link. I wonder where it leads.

JoHn

Submitted by Parson Thru on

Thank you well-wisher.

This whole thing has had me thinking a lot. I've asked for comment / advice and I know that I've neglected offering it for a long time on here. Busy lives, yes, but if I can find the time to write, I can find the time to read and comment. I was at a bit of a crossroads today, but the road I'm going to take is the one of being more active and supportive. The motive is that here is am fretting and asking for comments so, hey... Maybe I ought to be contributing more. Thanks John. And thanks everyone who has commented on my work, despite my lack of reciprocation.

Parson Thru

Submitted by celticman on

I'd give advice if I knew anything about poetry. 

 

Submitted by Parson Thru on

Sorry celt. I was being oversensitive. How much of yourself should you invest in this stuff? Difficult question.

Parson Thru

Submitted by celticman on

get in closer so you're slugging it out. 

 

Submitted by Parson Thru on

:) Or drowning.

True enough, though. Had a discussion with a mate re writing and "hobby".

Parson Thru

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Sorry this comes a while after you posted this. I found the poem beautiful and comforting. Particularly liked

The rhythm of the womb
Surges of the inner-sea
The great song of the stars...

Relief comes
in strangers’ smiles...
clinging, lichen-like
wherever human warmth can reach
with simple acts of kindness

Lichen is very tough, you have found a great metaphor for goodness surviving even in terrible circumstances. You bring peace and reassurance