Breath

Gold cherry
Poem of the week

By D G Moody

Tue, 14 Nov 2023
  • 1692 reads
8 comments
 

            Standing outside on
        A frosty night, as our cold
         Breath unfolds the stars
        One by one until we have                                                                                                                Passed, and the night has gone home.

          © D G Moody 2023
      

Certificate PG
Poem
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Comments

Submitted by Turlough on

Possibly the first tanka I have ever read. Interesting!

You have informed and inspired me.

Thank you very much.

Turlough

Submitted by D G Moody on

Thank you Thurlough. The Japanese tanka form was one I've only come across myself recently; having a strict  5-7-5-7- sylable form over five lines (in English). The last two lines are meant to act as a counterpoint to the first three, but that can prove difficult. It might be interesting to have a tanka challenge sometime.

And a thank you to the editors for the cherry - it is much appreciated

Dougie Moody

Submitted by onemorething on

I love this, charming and neatly packaged. It's our Pick of the Day! Congratulations! Do share on social media if you participate in that sort of thing. 

 

Submitted by onemorething on

This is our Poem of the Week! Congratulations! 

 

Submitted by insertponceyfre... on

Congratulations Dougie - what a wonderful pick!

 

Submitted by D G Moody on

Thank you for the pick and cherries, its always encouraging to get positive feedback

Best wishes......Dougie

Dougie Moody

Submitted by Tom Brown on

Love this. I can remember as a child how fascinating it was how your breath turns all to mist on a very cold morning. Also great you kept the pattern instead of whatever you like.

Great on the cherries! Cheers! Tom

 

Submitted by D G Moody on

Thanks Tom, for reading and commenting.

Dougie Moody