The girl on the platform

By Caldwell

Mon, 15 Sep 2025
  • 116 reads
4 comments
 

The girl on the platform,
waiting for her train.
She looks kind of pretty,
Though booze has soaked her brain

It’s gone 3:00 a.m.
And it's starting to rain
She’s drooling through an open mouth,
But she looks nice all the same.

The girl on the platform
with tangled auburn hair,
Her tired legs stretched awkwardly
across that plastic chair.

I think she’s noticed that I’m staring her way.
Wish I could tell her she's' A1,
But beer's robbed me of my words.
So instead I just play dumb,
Pretend to sweep the station floor,
As if it were my job
Not some fool with hopeful eyes
And a problem with his gob

The girl on the platform,
Time is drawing near.
When the trains start running,
She’ll climb on and disappear.

Certificate 15
Poem
Poetry
Romance
Humour
Inspiration Point (work that responds to our weekly writing cue)

Comments

Submitted by Caldwell on

I wrote this years ago, in my clubbing days, when I’d find myself waiting for the first train home at some ungodly hour. It’s not meant as a leering piece — more a snapshot of drunken, awkward wistfulness, with as much self-mockery as admiration. The words have been modified slightly since I initially wrote it. A friend of mine recorded it, playing guitar as accompaniment, which you can find here if you're at all interested.

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

Thanks for the link - it is kind of wistful.I hope she got home ok (showing my age I suppose!)

 

Submitted by Caldwell on

In this case, the girl was fictitious, so I can assure you no harm came to her. But these situations happen all the time, so it's worth some concern. 

 

Submitted by Tom Brown on

At university they had a Disgust Nr. which was the number of beers you needed to make her look pretty (enough) nothing compared to hard drugs you would need bottles. And check your wallet.

Cheers Chris! Tom