The Leaf Blower - Part 1

 

‘Where are you going with that leaf blower Dennis, it’s five o’clock?’

 

Dennis stopped in his tracks and appeared a bit unsettled by the question. He had been trying to look as casual as possible as he made his way to the carpark with the bulky leaf blower tucked under his arm, attempting to hide it beneath his gilet but there was no hiding it. ‘I’m off home now. Just taking this for safe keeping, in case somebody breaks it while I’m away.’

 

‘What? You’re not supposed to take company property off sight without permission from the gaffa.’

 

‘Andy, it’s for our own good, this piece of equipment is very temperamental and the best one we’ve got,’ Dennis opened the boot of his Volvo and carefully placed the leaf blower inside, wrapping it up in an old blanket. ‘I don’t want the likes of Peter using it. He breaks everything.’

 

Andy looked conflicted for a few seconds then sighed and said in a defeated voice. ‘Okay, just make sure you bring it back on Wednesday when you get back from ... .where is it you’re going again?’

 

‘Malta..with Jenny.’

 

‘Jenny? What happened to Shobna, I thought you two were getting engaged?’

 

Dennis shook his head and smiled. ‘No I broke it off. Met Jenny at the gym three weeks ago.’

 

Andy laughed nervously. ‘Well, have a nice time, mate and don’t forget to bring the leaf blower back after..whatever it is you plan doing with it.’

 

As the Volvo disappeared down the lane, Andy watched, scratching his bald head, puzzled by the conversation which had just taken place. He wasn’t really friends with Dennis, nobody was but it wasn’t because there was anything wrong with him except that he was a bit aloof perhaps, prestigious in some ways and detached from the rest of the team.

 

Dennis never got involved in the dirty jobs; digging, planting trees, weeding, mulching, he was never anywhere to be seen when those jobs needed doing. Every morning he came in, smelling of aftershave, grabbed the leaf blower and off he went alone for the rest of the day. You could hear him blowing from wherever you were on the site; blowing leaves under the hedges until they eventually made their way back out and he could blow them all over again. In the absence of leaves, he blew twigs, blossoms, debris, anything that was loose and on the ground, nothing was safe.

 

Dennis’s age was the subject of much speculation on the golf course maintenance team and even among some of the regular players. It was well known that he was over sixty because for that birthday he had been given a watch by the bosses but that was at least a decade ago. Everybody was fascinated by this subject because Dennis looked like he was in his early forties, not only that, it seemed as if he were growing younger.

 

‘I swear to god, that man is aging backwards,’ said Les as the team gathered in the staffroom the following Monday morning. He dipped a chocolate digestive into his tea, put most of it into his mouth and continued, ‘I’ve seen photos of him fifteen years ago at the Christmas do and he looks to be well into his fifties then.’

 

‘That’s because he was,’ said Andy.

 

‘And now he looks ten years younger!’ Les shook his head in dismay.

 

‘Maybe it’s the women, Les. The younger women always seem to go for him, don't they?’

 

‘Bastard!’ said Barry as he climbed out of his waders, losing his balance and gripping the fridge door for stability. 

 

Andy turned to him. ‘How many balls did you find, Barry?’

 

‘Got thirty at least. There’s a pike in there you know!’

 

‘Is there?’

 

‘I tell you what,’ said Peter as he pulled the teabag out of his peppermint brew, ‘you’d never catch Dennis in that lake!’

 

Les piped up, ‘You wouldn’t because, do you know why?’

 

‘Why?’

 

‘It’s because he’s surgically attached to that bloody leaf blower.’

 

The others all laughed, except for young Luke who was usually very quiet. ‘I probably shouldn’t tell you this,’ said Andy, lowering his voice, ‘but he took it with him on his days off.’

 

‘Why?’ said Peter, frowning hard, his eyes widening, angered at the notion of Dennis taking company equipment away. ‘What did he do that for?’

 

Luke, who had been perched with his hood up covering his face, in silence as usual the whole time, suddenly put down his phone and cleared his throat. ‘It’s because he thinks you might break it,’ he said.

 

Peter appeared surprised by this comment. ‘It’s a long time since I broke anything,’ he said, ‘and even then it was an accident.’

 

 

The others glanced at each other. ‘There’s been a few other things, Peter, the tractor seat, the rotavator, the big landscape rake, the kettle, how many hand tools, I’ve lost count.’

 

‘But hang on a minute Andy, I didn’t break break them, it was just the bits on the periphery, nothing that can’t be fixed. Things are not made to last these days, they’re mild steel.’

 

‘Okay Peter. It’s just that Dennis is very protective about the leaf blower so he’s taken it for safekeeping.’

 

Strange isn’t it,’ said Les as he scooped out some biscuit residue from the bottom of his mug with a dirty finger and licked it off, ‘I wonder why he’s so attached to it and to blowing those bloody leaves around.’

 

‘I know why,’ said Luke without looking up.

 

Andy was washing the mugs in the sink, he detected an unusual tone in his quiet colleague’s voice which made him stop and take notice. ‘Well aren’t you going to tell us?’ he said after a pause.

 

The rest of the team stared expectantly at Luke who continued to look down into his lap. ‘You probably wouldn’t believe me if I told you.’

 

‘Told us what Boy?’

 

‘Peter! Calm down, you’ll frighten the lad..’ said Andy as he stepped a bit closer to Luke.

 

‘It’s hard to believe but it’s true, I’ve got experience of it.’

 

‘Experience of what, Luke?’

 

‘The leaf blower, the one Dennis always uses. I used it when he had all that time off after his cat died and to be honest…’

 

Barry stifled a laughed, ‘What Luke, spit it out.’

 

‘I got home, looked in the mirror and it was so strange. It definitely wasn’t my imagination..and I know I’m only thirty but after a couple of days of using it. I could swear I started to look like a teenager again.’

 

Les started to laugh and within seconds the others were laughing too except Peter who simply said, ‘That’s ridiculous!’

 

‘No,’ Luke looked up at the others, ‘it’s not ridiculous actually Peter. I don’t want to look younger but that leaf blower, there’s something about it, the vibrations or something. It does something to your complexion and maybe the rest of your body too, who knows…’

 

‘You mean, the leaf blower is anti-aging?’ said Andy.

 

‘Yes,’ Luke nodded, ‘but I don’t want to talk about it again. I’ve got to get the rest of the Ragwort out of the Fairway between now and lunch.’ He looked very serious suddenly and raised his voice and his fist, ‘Never ask me about this again!’ he said, grabbing his gloves and legging it out of the staffroom.

 

The other men looked at each other, thoroughly perplexed about what just happened. 

 

‘Well it appears to have taken years off Dennis,’ said Les. ‘and I’ll tell you something else, when he gets back from Malta he’s going to have to share that leaf blower around a bit.’

 

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